Do you really need family(like this)?

[FoxLocke]

too personal...

[rms8]

Family can be the greatest asset in life but when you have a family like yours...you don't need them. There are plently of kinds of families out there. Many people never speak to their biological families and create their own family of friends. As long as you have at least one person in your life who supports you and loves you, you will be fine. Don't force yourself to try and incorporate these people into your life because you feel like you have to. Get on with your life and concentrate on people who show you respect and affection. You'll be just fine!

[BellaDonna]

Hi Foxlocke. I am sorry to hear about your mom, and to learn that your brothers are still acting like this.

 

I think when you graduate and move, a lot of your stress will be alleviated and you can surround yourself with positive people who will celebrate who you are and love you for who you are.

 

I know you will feel guilty leaving your mom- but you can be sure to keep in touch and make her a central part of your life. How nice it would be if you moved and had HER over for a visit to your new place- away from it all. I bet she would enjoy herself so much and get a chance to relax, without being under your brothers' negative influence. I know you are a motivated person and you will do great on your own. Your mom will be proud of you.

 

"Do I really need my family?"

 

Yes, but not all of them. You need your mom- but don't worry yourself about the others. If they don't like it- too bad. You are not required to keep degrading and hurtful people in your life simply because they are "family".

 

Congrats on your graduation, and your relationship.... I'm glad to hear that things are going well in that regard.

 

BellaDonna

[shes2smart]

Both my husband and I have no contact with our biological families. While yours, my husband's and my stories are all different, what they do have in common is that those we are biologically related to treat(ed) us horribly and with an appalling lack of basic respect. They wouldn't dream of treating a stranger like that, yet they'll do it to their own blood.

 

Like you, after a certain point, both my husband and I said, "No more." And ceased contact with them. For me that was almost 8 years ago. For my husband it was about 5 years ago. You're still in the early stages of separating yourself from them, and that's the hardest.

 

It will get better. While the time just prior to and time of my "break-up" with my family was very difficult, the time since has been amazingly stress free. I still cannot believe how much of a drain those relationships were on me. I suspect that once you navigate through this initial separation and re-definition of boundaries you will find a similar peace on the other side. Just keep focused on doing what is best for you (and your mom), and don't get caught up in your siblings' drama.