It hurts to see her around him.

[synergy]

Right now I'm in a relationship - just got back with my ex 2 months ago and things are great. We went out for about 8 months before i broke up with her. She started getting very close with my best friend, and it was understandable she needed someone there for her etc. I know that nothing happened between them because she started to date another guy. During this period, every time she had rough patches with her new boyfriend, she would turn to my best friend.. which eventually turned into her best mate. My gut feeling is that my best mate developed feelings for her during her time of need. Well that relationship fell through and her and my friend started getting really really close again. However nothing ever happened between them, but i sensed some sort of chemistry between them. They would hug often and be very touchy with each other (ie. am around each other or linking hands etc). Anyway, to get to the point.. we got back together about 2 months ago.. and I get really jealous when i see my bestfriend and her together.. especially if they hug or she puts her arm around him. I know they are very close friends and she has assured me that she feels nothing for him and that I'm the only one for her.. However i still feel that my friend still has some sort of feelings for her and i hate the fact that whenever she does hug or put her arm around him, he gets some sort of comfort out of that and it kills me inside...... I feel horrible for feeling the way I do because he is my best friend. She even offered to stop touching him, but i insisted that i was just being stupid and i should get used to it. It's really something that bugs me.. and I can't get my mind off it. I feel very insecure when he's around. Am I being stupid?

[Hope75]

Hi There and Welcome to Enotalone!

 

I don't think you are being 'stupid'. You are entitled to your feelings, and certainly they have developed a close relationship that makes you uncomfortable.

 

Have you talked to your male friend about this?

 

I think at this point you have already talked to her about it and she tells you that there is nothing there for her and she is with you- so do you trust that?

 

Being friendly with a person by hugging occasionally is not crossing any boundaries, but it all depends on whether you trust your friend and your gf. Your friend may have feelings but do you trust that your gf has made the choice to be with you because that is where she wants to be? Do you trust that your friend has enough respect for you, your gf and your relationship not to make a move?

 

Sometimes working out a relationship means taking a leap of faith- and paying attention to your mate's actions- choosing to be with you.

[flower99]

no you're not being stupid. you're human.

You possible feel insecure, because you feel threatend by thier relationship, the closness of the friendship.

BUT remember, she sees him only as a friend, if she wanted to be with him, she would have.

So what you two have is far greater. Your friendship is deeper, it stems into a relationship that even when separated couldn't keep you two apart..she came back to you....That's love.