what to do about tonight?

[kickedin]

well i told the ex i wont bearound until after tuesday...just needed som space from our supposed good bye metting which isnt going to happen ever.....

 

a couple of my friends are going to a local place.....where they have weddings and such so its a nice place its 3 couples and they asked me to go

 

reasons i dont want to go

 

1. ex's best friend is a little local frump who doesnt like the glitzy stuff

2. its local on nye people dont like to drive

3. i am single dont havr a date to bring and wouldnt because it is local and dont want to be seen with even a friend

4. i am not supposed to be around

5. if i doo see her i would probably leave asap

6. i was invited to a few houseparties....

 

for some reason i feel like doing nothing alone...which is not good and i am taking my bro out on monday night for his b day

[honeyspur]

Well - don't go. I wouldn't anyway. I may decide to go out and do something else altogether. I might have to be alone - but I'll be in public, around people - but not risking running into any uncomfortable "reunions".

 

Be sure you don't secretly want to have any of these uncomfortable situations happen simply because they are familiar. Sometimes, in a break-up, familiarty is most desired - even if it's bad. Truly getting over someone means a willingness to be totally different and your life around you (activities,places,attitude) is different as well. Even making new friends while keeping the old.

 

If you want familiarty and are still wanting to keep NC, then it will happen even if she is next to you the whole night. It's just a choice you stick to.

[kickedin]

yes i al really thinking not going is the best

[EddieRentz]

definitely force yourself to go out though. I did that last night, went to a crazy club with incredible women... still had thoughts that I would eschew them all for the ex, but as the night went on a bit I felt more comfortable. I think it is about getting abck into the swing.

 

If I were you, I would go to the house party where you are going to have some good people around you that can help you loosen up and have a great time.

 

Works for me...

[Firedancer03]

If you do not feel comfortable going, don't go. If you feel in any way it will hinder or set you back in your healing, don't go. Its ok to want to stay home alone. Its been 4 months since my breakup and NYE is really hard for me because I spent last new year's with my ex kissing him at midnight. So I just want to curl up in a ball and watch TV tonight. Forget the parties, I just need some "me" time tonight. I know that if I go out anywhere I will probably not be much fun and I know it will only make me sad. I don't want to be on the brink of tears, since I have made a lot of progress in my healing in the last 2 weeks. So if you truley do not want to go, tell your friends you appreciate the offer but you are just not feeling well tonight. I'm sure they would understand. You don't have to push yourself into anything you don't want to do, but try not to just sit home and wallow either. Maybe one of the houseparties where you know your ex won't be and you will be surrounded by friends and not thinking about your ex at all. If you decide to stay home, watch a funny movie or pop popcorn or watch * * * * Clark on ABC, haha. There's always something fun to do at home too, so don't feel bad for staying in. Have a Happy New Year!

[Ladyface]

First I want to comment on how great it is that * * * * Clark is apparently too offensive for these message boards.

 

Secondly, I'm going through a similar New Year's Eve dilemma. I was supposed to attend a party my ex is hosting, but we broke up last week, so I don't really have plans anymore. But whatever I do, there are two things I'm going to avoid:

 

1) My ex.

2) Drinking too much.

 

I have two very good friends at my side to make sure I don't make any silly lonely mistakes tonight. I'd suggest surrounding yourself with good people - maybe one or two close friends, if this is possible. If it isn't, I'd definitely stray from the ex no matter what. The houseparties sound like a good idea to me, because staying at home by yourself may make you feel unnecessarily lonely. It's good to get out and remind yourself that you're still alive, and to bring in the new year on a positive note!