Finally found why out why people cheat...

[digitaldiva]

 

 

This is the best article I've ever read on why people cheat. It still hurts me that my Ex cheated on me but reading this has helped me to stop blaming him for some things and look deeper into the problem with him so that it does not reoccur with another mate. Please read this article...

 

Please give me your opinion after reading this article...

 

 

HERE IS SOME OF THE ARTICLE YOU WILL HAVE TO CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO READ THE REST...

 

How would you feel if I told you that your man cheated on you because you are an ugly, overweight, boring, lousy lover who can't get anything right and even though your man tried to make things work, your old-fashioned, sexually stubborn self never agreed to compromise? Ouch! That sounds pretty harsh. It's just a lot easier to call a man a pig or call a woman a tram_p..........

 

 

216.22.0.4/dating/curtsmith_60/62_dating_advice.html

 

 

[secret_agent_man]

Thanks for this post, Diva!

Well, it's a very well written article, and he does a very good job of explaining his point of view!

 

Personally, It's hard for me to say I agree 100%, because I never feel as though it's the other person's fault, only the cheater's. That's the problem I have with this article, he seems to be focused on the wrong idea. I agree in the sense that to keep your partner happy, you should make somewhat of an effort to show them you are what they want... BUT, I always feel that in a caring relationship, "cheating" shouldn't be on anyone's mind. If someone consciously makes the decision to go somewhere else, then they have already given up on the relationship to a point, as they don't even care enough to try to work through the differences that make them feel this way.

 

I think it's a great article to read, but I hope nobody blames themselves for being cheated on. If a person cheats and doesn't want to die of remorse, they're not dedicated and respectful enough to hang on to, and that's their fault, no-one else's... I think I feel this way because I always feel that people shouldn't be bound for life by what their partner wants, but should do what makes THEM happy. If each party is happy with themselves, and they can still have a great relationship, THAT is what it's all about. That is the situation where it will work out, sort of like the old saying, "there is no judgement through the eyes of love"... And if this IS the case, no one should feel the need to go elsewhere.

 

(sorry, I know I got off on a ride there)

 

That's MY view, but I feel many different ways about this subject anyway.

 

S.A.M.

[Princess777]

Thank you for the chance to read it, however, Just giving my opinion............. (don't think I'm lashing out at YOU here OK)) That article sounded pretty one-sided and selfish to me. I have heard the theory before that he was speaking of, but it's a matter of self control and choice in the end. Men may have a natural instinct to sow their seeds but they could at least break off the current relationship first. There is no excuse for it at all. Women cheat too, so I wonder if they have the same natural instinct to be with a lot of men??? The same is true for them. It's all a choice we make, and nothing else. I guess that guy doesn't realize that certain factors such as being pregnant with your man's baby does things to your body that you cannot control, chasing kids around with paper towels and the fact that hormones cause women to think and act differently than normal didn't come to his mind. While women can work to take the weight off after the baby's born or whatever, there's the remaining fact that men sometimes don't help out with things around the house and the woman is too tired to "give" them sex after working full time and playing mom. Just my opinion. I'm not overweight or anything but I have been through all that, and if they want to cheat they could at least tell the woman they're splitting up with them before they go out and do it. That is the least they could do instead of blaming it on evolution.

Princess777

[Genesis]

I think that these reasons are just excuses, if the relationship is not working out why not just break up! I think people stay in relationships b/c they do not want to be lonely. If a person can not stand to be alone , then they have issues, b/c if they can not be alone and be ok then that means they have no selfrespect/esteem or selflove!!! If this other person has always been lazy, fat, ect.. why then do you wait until someone else comes along to realize that? If you have a brain you should know that this person has all these faults even before they start to cheat. Why not end the relationship sooner before the cheating starts. Why do cheats not end the relationship they are GREEDY!!! A cheater will string someone along for months to see if they like this new relationship better. They tell the new love all the bad things about GF/BF, but if they know the GF/BF are bad for them why do they keep going out with them, during the time they cheat? They do this so if the "fake" relationship does not work out they will have something to fall back on. A person who would do this , has a fear of being alone and is self centered only caring about themself and not how the others in the love triangle feel! Bottom Line: I think people who cheat either have low self esteem, because if their partner was so bad they would have left them already, or the are just greedy and self centered.

 

Their are NO justifcations for CHEATING NEVER! There are however reasons to break up with someone, if you do not have to dignity to end one relationship before another one starts, I think the problem is with the Cheater, not the person who they find faults with. People who cheat come up with so many justifications to , take away the guilt from their low life behavior. Ex: They do not treat me right, they are fat ,or blah, blah, blah....so what, I am sure the GF/BF was that way before they meet the person who they sneak around with. I do blame both parties! A person who gets into a relationship with someone who is already in one has issues too! I have turned down many men with wives or GF's, I have more class and respect for myself than to be the other woman! Bottom line people who cheat and who cheat with them have boundary issues thereforeeeee also having a lack of character and class.