What do you say to someone you haven't talked to in 2 years?

[Alabama]

There was this girl that liked me...that was 2 years ago. But it wasn't until a year earlier, I realized I may like her. I asked a friend for some contact information, and got it. Now I can email her or call her. I'ved decided to email...but what do I say? Am I being selfish for wanting a second chance? Or am I giving into desperation, because she is one of the few girls who has actually liked me? I need advice, please.

[friscodj]

I think at this point it is fruitless and probably counter-productive to speculate. Two years is a long time, you just don't know what can, has, or is happening with her.

 

I'd suggest a brief email at this point. Something to the effect of:

 

"Hey ,

 

Not sure if you remember me or not, I'm from . I was talking to the other day and he gave me your contact info. I hope I got the address right!

 

I was just wondering how you're doing. Write me back at this address, I'd love to hear from you.

 

Hope you're well,

 

I think something like that would be best.

[pinkelephant]

^ That sounds very nice.

 

 

I'm thinking about contacting an old friend I made from work exactly 2 years ago, but I'm worried of coming off weird if I ask my cousin for his contacts as I don't talk to her often. I would LOVE it if he would contact me so I think you should give it a shot. From your post, I think you're over-analyzing.

[Reluctant Rebuilder]

That's pretty smooth FDJ, not too familiar and still inviting.

[Juliana]

Don't go into the elaborate description of how you got their information; who cares. If you make it seem like you contacted the f'g FBI to get their info, you'll come off like a stalker. Just say: Got your email from (X). I was in such and such a place the other day, and saw (person, place, or thing) and it reminded me of you. Fun times. So how are you?

 

Remind them of something pleasant in your shared past -- a school, a group, an event -- and go from there.

 

Good luck.

[Alabama]

Well, I emailed her. I basically said that since I got to thinking that it sucked since I was stuck in college and haven't talked with a lot of my friends. I told her I got her contact information for a friend. She emailed me back saying it was good to hear from me and what she was up too. I realize now that even though I have a lot to do this semester, I was either going to email her back or call her, and see if she wants to hang out this summer. It would be a good way to see how she is, and see if she has any interest in me still, too.

[friscodj]

That sounds like a reasonable plan. I would establish some regular communication before suggesting getting together though, maybe once a week, call and/or emails. Then depending on the way things go, offer to get together with her closer to the summer.

 

Also, certainly don't pin your hopes on this or let it interfere with other opportunities for relationships that might come your way. For now, she as an old friend/acquaintence and nothing more romantically. And you have a busy semester ahead of you...

[Alabama]

Out of the blue, I decided to do something today. I emailed her asking her out. I know it may have sounded like a bad idea, but in one email everything felt resolved. She emailed me back and find out she has a boyfriend right now and if things were different, she wouldn't mind dating in the future; but now I don't feel the pain of waiting anymore and know now I can embrace my single life for good.