We are both strange (long post)

[EvaGina]

Ok... So I have been wanting to move out of my current city for a while, and my mate Carl lives in the city I am moving too and has a room free for me.

 

The only reason I was waiting is because Carls best friend is my ex Mark. Mark was my first "real" boyfriend and I hadnt seen him in 5 years. I wanted to meet up with Mark and see if we were friendly before moving in with Carl because if we hated eachother and had to see eachother all the time, it would suck.

 

So, Mark stays at my place for a few days while he is on holiday, not only do we not hate eachother, but we totally dig eachother and end up having the best few weeks we have had in years.

 

I am totally smitten with this guy, hes amazing... the thing is, we are both pretty weirded out by commitment. When I asked him how he would feel about me moving to his city, and in with Carl, he said "Yes, move down and be my girlfriend"... it was a moment of openess I wish I had taken instead of being scared and going "ummm, how about we just see how it goes"...

 

I think he is scared that I am moving FOR him, and I am scared that my moving will freak him out, although I have told him I wanted to move before we got together. I find myself jokingly putting him down all the time, I think its a defense thing... I always apologise afterwards and tell him how much I like him...

 

But can anyone give me advice on how to tell him I DO want to be "exclusive" with him, without scaring him? It makes it harder because I think he still remembers what I was like when I was 15... he was my first love and I was a MESS when he broke up with me... not only that but I was a pretty horrid girlfriend.

 

Anyways, any advice on how to make him realise that I have fallen amazingly and totally hard for him, without making him scared the I will live in his pocket when I get to his city, would be greatly appreciated

[nadine_3110]

Well I would just see how it goes. You can continue seeing him and joking with him. And if you see that he is developing feelings, or he's acting shy around you, ask him about it.

 

Or maybe, if he every mentions you being his girlfriend again, even in a joking fashion, ask him if he would like that. Maybe he'll be caught off guard and admit to something... This is a tricky situation, you could also wait for him to make the first move. But get to know each other a bit better first and show him that you aren't that messed up 15 year old anymore.

 

Good luck!

[EvaGina]

I suppose thats the thing thats making me so impatient

I already feel like I know him so well... its like we had spent the last 7 years together!!

 

Not that I am particulary patient anyways

 

I dont want him to think that I dont want commitment and go do somthing with someone else to "prove" it... I have done that to people before and I have had it done to me...

 

Im not interested in anyone else, and I wouldnt be angry if he hooked up with someone else before I got there, but I would be gutted