In a hard spot right now

[afonselaca]

I can't decide what I want. The exBF wants to see me Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and probably everyday inbetween. I told him the other day he doesn't need to call so often, especially while I'm working and he took it kinda hard. He is very honest and trustworthy but I'm questioning my flat physical responses to him.

 

The casual guy has only seen me once in 7 weeks and dialed my number to return a call probably two weeks ago. We email several times per week and go back and forth between sexy and just friendly text. I called him last week to arrange a weekend date but he was already going out of town and he hasn't tried to arrange anything since. He knows I want to see him but I'm on 5 days of NC with him since it is probably best to end it... he isn't contacting me for some reason. I keep thinking it is best to let him go because he doesn't seem very interested, but then he contacts me and I get hopeful. It is driving me insane how much I want him. This has been going on for months as we are agreeable to being casual with each other although I think I really do care too much for him.

 

ExBF calls multiple times per day and knows all about casual guy and he is somewhat jealous but understands that I'm trying to figure out what I want and let the other guy go since he isn't into me. But exBF pressures me and I'm constantly telling him no (please don't call so much, please let me work tonight, etc.) Last night he asked what kind of wedding I dream of having someday. He is really into me.

 

Am I crazy about casual guy because he is keeping me at bay? I'm thinking I can't get into exBF again until I get casual guy out of my system but it is hard to make the final decision to cut it off for good. I know I shouldn't chase him and he should be doing the chasing but he's not, darnit. He must think he is some kind of prize or something. ARGH! LOL

 

~thanks for reading~

[Ash]

With casual guy in the picture I'm sort of thinking that communicating with exBF is not the right thing for you to be doing. It's confusing you. Perhaps casual guy isn't right either, but exBF is pestering you and wanting to take up your time. Casual guy and the potential "haven't yet discovered he likes you" guy might be kept at bay.

 

There's a chance casual guy is playing hard to get. Some play that a bit too zealously and end up not being got at all. At some point that sort of relationship either has to become real, or it's time to move on and seek one that is. I've seen it where one of a potential couple plays hard to get, then the other does and it went back and forth but never amounted to anything.

[Trab]

Be honest to your ex, don't give him false hope. The causal guy is tempting now because it will give you closure, but trsut me, try not to go there, it will hurt you in the end.

[amialone]

You want him because he isn't stable. If you knew what he wanted, you'd feel more in control and not knowing makes you unsure of yourself. I am exactly the same. Try and be distant for now. Imagine he is the same as you - you like not knowing. Don't get heavy - you'll drive him away, play it cute and you'll get him eventually!

[amialone]

i mean casual guy by the way - ex boyf is so last year!"

[afonselaca]

I would like to think there is a chance casual guy is playing hard to get but that probably isn't the case. I chase him and it doesn't do enough for him apparently. I'm chasing my own tail.

 

We're on NC because I wrote and told him this last week plus I stated I wouldn't contact him anymore and just let it end easy. He did email me a few times so I called but he let me go to voicemail. I guess he started NC by ignoring my call, huh? I'm weak. LOL.

 

He knows how to find me. I'm going to stick with NC and get him out of my system. Well, unless he contacts me to strike up a real relationship... but I'm not hopeful that will happen. I told him I hope he finds what he is looking for. I have to accept it isn't me and move on.

 

As far as exBF. He wanted to come over last night and surprise me but thought it better to call. I told him I was glad he called because I don't like drop-ins and I wasn't up to having company. He sounded so crushed and tried to convince me. I felt annoyed and wanted to get off the phone.

 

I was sitting on this site reading about NC and didn't feel like socializing. This site is great!

 

I have been honest with both guys. Nothing more I can do but emmerse myself in my hobby and create something beautiful.