should i tell my parents and family im gay?

[alex892004]

okay heres the deal,

im 14 years old and i know im gay. been thinking it on and off for the past 2-3 years but im sure now. and my question is should i tell my parents and my familly. my parents got divorsed and then remaried to diffrent people and those people have step parents so i have a very large family all of which are very supportive of me and love me very much. no one in my familly is homophobic or anything so no one would make fun of me or anything but i just dont know. i have almost told my mom a few times but have always backed down. sometimes i feel like im ready to tell and sometimes i dont. i think to some extent my parents already knows but they have never said anything. one thing that im afrade of is my dad. but not in the way you would think. see hes a theripist and he tends to analyze everything i say or do. he will set me down and talk to me for houres i know it!! well please get back to me thanx

[tobigahart]

Since you're only 14 there's not really a rush to go out and tell people. I don't reckon there would be many other guys your age coming out ofthe closet either so unless you feel you need to tell everyone, don't do it.

 

You've got years anyway for things to happen and change and you're still very young. But if you do feel you need to tell you're parents then I really doubt anyone is going to care less.

 

I think my little bro (17) might be gay and if he is then he's probably scared out of his mind of me or anyone else knowing but the truth is it wouldn't make a difference.

 

People might make gay jokes and stuff like that (hell I do all the time!) but it does't mean they actually have anything against it. It's like blonde jokes- we joke about how they can be stupid but when it comes down to the individual blonde, no-one actually believes they are thicker than the rest of us.

 

Anyway, just tell them when you're ready. There's no rush but they won't think any less of you anyway

[bryan]

youre still very young, who knows you might grow out of it or change your mind! I say keep it to yourself for now. Maybe by 18 if youre still feeling the same way, then yes tell them.

[scorch_yogo]

my bro is also a gay, thats what he said to all of us. you know how we reacted to it? "F I N E W I T H U S"

but my bro was old enough to admit that he was a gay. i think its part of our freedom. to admit to everyone that i am a gay, is my right. but sometimes we have to consider the people around us, our family circle. coz there are times that they have big expectations from you, from us. and when the situation comes, that you'll admit to them that your a gay, at first they maybe hurt but if they love you that much, for sure they will understand your feelings especially your situation.

TOBIGAHART said that youre still very young. i suppose he is right. if you can wait for a lil longer why not. your still 14 and there might still be a lot of changes, biologically speaking. as for now dont keep on pushing yourself towards it. theres nothing wrong with that but it better if you'll remain as a real man when you reach 24, the boarder line for biological changes in a man. you got my point? but im not against you as a gay as you claim that you are now. you might still change in the process.

i hope this will help you also.

[Gunther]

14.... gay.... huh? dude your 14 a lot of kids at that age think that {especialy when there not} my advice is just slow down get your head on strait {no I am not trying to make a pun!} this is not to be taken lightly, being gay is not easy to be, I personaly think that 14 is not old enough to know weather or not you are gay yet, I have met ppl at 14 who thought they were gay, they were ALWAYS picked on, but what burned me is they wernt gay because they really were they were gay for the sole purpose of just being different, before you go making a rash decision like this you better sit down and take a good long look at your life now and what it could be like if you choose one path or the other, because once you become gay most people will say you are always gay, but if you try to go back you are not strait you are by-sexual which means ppl will treat you even worse than if you were just gay. so you better be really sure before you decide to tell your parents anything because you have to know first. but lets not forget the most obvious part of this, before you become gay, you must first have sex with {to put it delacitly}someone of the same gender, so until then you are not gay or strait, not until you make that final step. but dont think of that as bad, think of it as it gives you quite a while before you decide to do anything drastic 8) but reguardless of if you are gay or not feel lucky that you have a family as open minded as they are.

[neva_black_n_white]

i guess everyone else has really stressed on the fact that yo are 14 but to me that is just an age (i guess to some degrees i can see whats being said but still). i feel that it is all about maturity and you feel that it is right and the decision is the correct one for you then i would go straight ahead and for you goal.

 

it seems that there has been a vast amount of stereotyping and this will not be a simple thing to do 9in some cases) but if it in you heart and like you said youve considered this for the last 2/3 years or 3/4 i feel you have probably gone over a lot of this in your mind.

 

i agree with the statement of everyone having a change in sexuality and change of mind but if thats the way you feel and are confident enough to tell you family then do so.

 

if you dad is to sit you down for hours make your feeling procise and clear, really i believe its showing that he cares. dont worry if your family are really loving and supportive as said you dont have much to worry about (i guess)

 

hope the best for you

and maybe this helped.

 

~kel

[autumn]

You think your parents might know. Maybe a reaction is exactly what you need. Maybe your dad sitting down with you for hours is not so much dealing with you as it would be dealing with himself and his own issues. Maybe he needs to do this to deal with it. I suggest you give him the chance to deal with it.

 

I disagree with hiding your feelings. I do think you should be able to be open with them. If you think there's a chance that you might not be gay, tell your parents that too. Keeping everything inside is not the answer.

I guess your parents won't like this. I never had to deal with telling anyone that I think I'm straight and that I'm thinking about having sex with some girl. Try to accept yourself first, and then expect others to accept you too. If they don't, then THEY are the ones with issues. They need to wake up to the real world. In fact, most of the people who will have serious problems accepting you, are probably the people that have serious issues with society in general - many of them may even be secretly gay. (eg. the movie - American Beauty)

 

I don't suggest you come out in a hostile way. I think you might just want to come out in a way that doesn't hide who you are. You may not need to make that much drama out of it...you may just want to be who you are without telling anyone (eg. straight people don't come out and say - "I need to talk. I think I'm straight."). Maybe leaving around a few hints here and there (eg. pics of other men, love letters, etc.) and acting normal is the way. Then if someone decides to make an issue out of it, you can respond by saying, "yeah, can't you tell - what's the big deal?"

 

...some thoughts from a very straight guy (my bro is gay)

[SarCareBear]

To preface, this comes from a very non-judgemental standpoint.. honestly, you are only 14, and a male at that ( no offense, you just dont mature at the same rate as girls ), and just how much sexual experience have you had with girls? You aren't even finished with puberty most likely! Feel free to share your contemplations with whomever you want, keeping in mind that its a homophobic world out there. Instead of saying i think im gay, you might try saying you have strong feelings for males and what do they make of this? Dont pidgeonhole yourself as "gay".. in my opinion, were all bi just at diffferent levels

[alex892004]

Although i dont agree with some of your guyses comments i do thank you very much for responding. like i brifly said befor i have been thinking about this for awihil now and i honestly think that i am mature enoff to make that deciction..... what that will be is the problem i am almost completely sure that im gay. there is a little dout but now much. i have always been one to feel a little out of place around groups of strait guys and i tend to gat along beter with girls.. just who i am now that im comparing myself to the stryotypical gay man! over all i thank you so much for your comments and if you have anymore please do tell.

 

thank you

Alex

[neva_black_n_white]

i am glad that you feel comfortable with your sexuality and am certain to stick with my advice i gave before, i believe it is correct for you to tell your parents as long as you feel comfortable...

 

one doubt that i have...

 

i have always been one to feel a little out of place around groups of strait guys and i tend to gat along beter with girls.. just who i am now that im comparing myself to the stryotypical gay man!

 

i hope you do not see yourself as gay because of this as it doesnt make you that but also i take into consideration that you did say....

 

i am almost completely sure that im gay.

 

if thats what is in your heart then follow it i believe mostly on maturity not age.

 

follow your heart and if you make a mistake your only the one to blame

 

good luck

 

~kel

[alex892004]

i wrote "now that im comparing" i ment to say, NOT that im comp...

 

Sorry bout that

[neva_black_n_white]

everyone makes mistakes it just seemed to make a big differance and i got confused.....but yeah you go for it i believe that you seem to have alot of faith in yourself and youll go far.

 

so good luck

~kel

[DoorMouse]

Why hide who and what you are? I'm a 20 year old bisexual female with extreemly homophobic parents, I was 16 when I came out of the closet, it took my family a little while to adjust, but I had to explain to them, you loved me before you knew, why can't you love me the same now that you know, I'm still the same person. My bond with my family is tighter than ever now they can support me in ALL parts of my life. My father took a little while longer adjust, but he and I can laugh at it now when we're shopping together and his jaw drops over a sexy looking woman, and so does mine. And my mother is doing better that she has even attended a few gay pride parades with me. There is No reason to be ashamed of who and what you are.