becoming 'snippy' over the phone

[nemo_lost]

hi everyone,

my girl and i have known each other for 4 months, and things are going incredably well. we make time to travel and see each other and we are totally in sync. one problem is that recently we have become a bit 'snippy' on the phone with each other. we talk a couple of hours every night beore we go to sleep, but recently we are reading into a pause before some word, for example. or saying "what's wrong?" becuase someone said something slightly differently than usual. each little inflection is weirding us out.

my undertanding is that this is common, but i'm trying to understand why this happens and how to handle it. we both acknowledged it which i think is so important, but we are getting frustrated at the distance. any thought on why this is happening? any advice on how to deal with it? thanks for listening.

[jengh]

Im in a long-distance relationship, too... same problem. We get along great when we're together, but over the phone, we constantly snap at each other. I think it's because we can't see each other's faces (if they're being sarcastic, can't see the smile...maybe they're just tired and sound "down"). The only sure way to prevent this is less phone time. BUT that's hard, didn't work for me as I talk with my boyfriend a couple of times per day. Try having several short conversations throughout the day as opposed to one looong one. Make the conscious effort to realize "Okay, I'm overreacting. She isn't p*ssed off at me. " because 98% of the time, she probably isn't and vice versa.

[SexySadie7]

Have you thought of writing each other letters? Letters are a wonderful thing to savour over and reread too.. when you miss your honey. Also.. they last indefinitely. I still have love letters sent to me from my boyfriend who lived in the Caribbean and whom I didn't hardly get to see.

Try writing some letters to each other.. You can say whatever is in your heart.. be poetic or silly as you want... you aren't waiting for their reaction.. but you look forward to it.. when they write you back. It's not instaneous.. but you are less likely to snip at someone in a letter than you would on the telephone.

[BrokenHeart82]

Sounds like a classic case of...running out of things to say

 

If youre talking for 2 hours every day...the content isnt going to be as exciting to either of you as it was a month or two months ago...why? Because nobody has 2 hours worth of crap to talk about every night.

 

I suggest you take the first step...when the conversation starts to lull...end it..on a high note. This will save both of you some sanity!