Romance

[karenin]

What, to you, is romance?

 

Cooking a meal for someone?

Surprising them?

Doing something or making time that you can't or do not normally do?

What kind of things does you s/o do for you?

Do relationships need romance?

 

K

[kalshane]

I think romance is being the best you can be as often as possible whether the one you love is around you or not.

[kalshane]

And yes, love relationships need romance. Unless it's a friends with benefits sort of deal.

[karenin]

I suppose I should answer my own question if I want others to!

 

I think relationships need romance to maintain that spark and stop you both from getting settled/bored.

 

To me, romance is surprises, the little things you do to make your s/o happy/remind them how you feel about them, that sorta thing. I'm always wanting to do lil things for my bloke, cooking his favourite meal (well, althuogh that doesn't count as one of us has to cook really!), buying him a lil something he needs, organising a picnic (ok, we have done this!), stuff, but I think he would reject it, he's not the romantic sort. HE thinks cooking for me is romantic - but if he didn't do it, we wouldn't eat!

 

Thing is, there's things I want to do for him that I sometimes can't afford - tickets to see a band and stuff like that, and we're in an LDR too, so we always make the weekend for each other.

[kalshane]

Sounds like you guys are pretty romantic for having a LDR. To me, making the weekends yours together is romantic enough with all of the distractions in life, and not seeing your lover everyday.

[confused25]

Hmmm to me it's when someone does little things for you without you asking.

[TheFallenShadow]

I think to at times romance can be, the intimate dance you share through out the day, with a look, a touch, a smile,

 

A simple compliment given, the way you hold hands, small little things like that, an email or voice mail left, saying that you miss them, want them..etc...

 

differant romance for differant people, but its also in how the other person preceives it as well....because romance to you, may not be romance to them, or what they are use to as for what they define romance as being...

[karenin]

I do think men and women see romance differently - and for you to smile and find it romantic, you have to be that kind of person, to think it romantic. Otherwise you could smile at everyone in the street and the smile for your s/o is no longer special.

 

The reason I was curious is because I'm having a few thoughts about me and my guy. About us long-term, about how we fit together and if he's right for me. We're very different, but in terms of personality - we have similar interests. He says that everything adds up to 100% - I am 80% talkative, he is 20% - so together we work as we make 100%-kinda-thing...

 

I love him but feel like we're in a rut or something. We have been together for 9 months. When we first me, we went out for meals, picnics, went places and this kind of thing but we don't anymore, we sit around, spend the day in bed together, that kind of thing. Perhaps it's because it's cold outside now. I don't know.

 

I have a short attention span, a typical Ariean, I get bored easily. Of everything. I don't want to get bored of my boyf but I hate the routine. The only routine we do not have is that we do not alternate weekends at each others' places...depending on our schedules we'll have 2 weekends at mine and that kind of thing. I like how it's mixed up.

 

I always seem to get an itch after being with a person for this long, and it's usually some kind of boredom-related thing. Our sex-life is also very routine, and I have told him this. After 9 months, I really don't think I should feel like this.

 

I have told my boyfriend how I feel and he is understandably very hurt, and now convinced that this is a prelude to me breaking up with him. This is not what I want - I have recognised a problem and am looking for solutions. I hate the idea of upsetting him and hurting his feelings and confidence - as he is not a very confident person in relationships. I know it sounds immature perhaps but I do need to be kept interested.

 

Has anyone ever felt like this, or had a similar situation with a s/o? What did you do? Me and this man have talked about marrigage and moving to the same city to have a 'normal' relationship first, but I need to get over this hurdle. However, my boyf is completely happy, and I think he's just very settled and comfortable - which is not a bad thing - but I don't want to feel like I've been married 20 years even when I have been married for that long...!

 

Thanks to everyone who reads this message

 

Karenin