Advice on contacts w/ ex....thanks

[krnswte143]

Do i give some time by not contacting my ex at all for awhile....or do i keep in touch w/ him sometimes?

 

Its been 3 weeks now.. pretty fresh...but whenever i said dont talk to him...something bad happens to me and i end up calling him for a help.. i know it doesnt mean anything..but i cant keep my words. i was planning on not talking to him at all for awhile...until i am ready to talk.but then again i end up talking anyways not intentionally only in case of emergency.

 

we both werent happy in the relationship towards the end cus we were having too much problems.. so he ended it. & not so long ago we even argued about something stupid...and were not even toghether... so i feel as if i should give some space/time between us two. but then again, i end up talking to again... i know i need to be strong...but i dont know.

 

do i give some time by not contacting my ex at all for awhile....or do i keep in touch w/ him sometimes?

[Juliana]

What do you mean, you end up having to talk to him because of emergencies? Of all the reasons to talk to someone, personal incompetence is by far the worst. If you're the sort of person who relies alot on others for things like hooking up computers, or changing flat tires or that kind of thing, you will get such a charge out of organizing to get that stuff done or doing it yourself, trust me. If that's the only reason you're calling your ex, give it up, my sister!

[krnswte143]

What do you mean, you end up having to talk to him because of emergencies? Of all the reasons to talk to someone, personal incompetence is by far the worst. If you're the sort of person who relies alot on others for things like hooking up computers, or changing flat tires or that kind of thing, you will get such a charge out of organizing to get that stuff done or doing it yourself, trust me. If that's the only reason you're calling your ex, give it up, my sister!

 

thanks juliana

 

well, i dont mind talkng to him but then again he wants me to move on and wants me to erase all feelings of him...iono if he really meant that.. we were arguing so he couldve said weird things... but i am gonna move on and not talk to him..... i never depend on ppl.....things just happened to me bad this month thats all.... i will call my dad but he is another continent...so no use.....so my ex is only person i am close to... i have no other friends to call... so thats why i called him......im not using him or anything n i hope he doesnt feel that way............but anyways, i strted my NC today...

 

i don wanna look crazy or psycho...........im not sure he'l see me as that cus i was never bad to him n he was never bad to me.....jus had problems in our relationship tats alll.....but yeah. i'l stop contact now.

[Juliana]

Go out and join a gym, and a class of some kind (quilting, cooking, doesn't matter; whatever your interests are). And call your dad. People in other continents need love too.

 

Don't worry about what your ex told you to feel. How ridiculous; your feelings are your own. He can only reasonably comment on your actions.

 

But if you're worried about looking psycho, that's a sign to yourself, it's time to change tactics and take your life in a different direction -- one that puts you on your own feet, not leaning on someone who doesn't want to be there.

[krnswte143]

Go out and join a gym, and a class of some kind (quilting, cooking, doesn't matter; whatever your interests are). And call your dad. People in other continents need love too.

 

Don't worry about what your ex told you to feel. How ridiculous; your feelings are your own. He can only reasonably comment on your actions.

 

But if you're worried about looking psycho, that's a sign to yourself, it's time to change tactics and take your life in a different direction -- one that puts you on your own feet, not leaning on someone who doesn't want to be there.

 

yeah i know.....but he still cares for me and i believe he isnt over me too...he didnt want to break up with me....we were jus havin too much problem n he jus didn see a future with it.........( problem was him living w/ his ex of 13 yrs ago) they were other ppl living there too.....but i couldnt handle it....i dont thnk anyone could.....that was our main problem we couldnt solve.......if it was solved.....we were sitll be toghther...

 

 

 

we had our good moments n good happy memories......thats all i can live with...our good memories even tho we were havin problems...........he wanted to see me last fri to give me a gift....im sure he missed me n wanted to see me but i didn let him cus i thought it was for the best....we even argued about it ....i did really wanted to see him but didn happen.....i kinda regret it....but i think it was for the best

[Jayar]

You should not be calling him at all. You should be forgetting this destructive relationship and moving on. But before you move on with someone else, work on your EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY insecurities so you don't damage your next relationship. Good luck.

[krnswte143]

You should not be calling him at all. You should be forgetting this destructive relationship and moving on. But before you move on with someone else, work on your EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY insecurities so you don't damage your next relationship. Good luck.

 

 

i never had insecurities in any of other relationship......jus been screwed over many times. yeah i made mistakes here and there......everyone does....no one is perfect in this world......everyone makes mistakes and u learn from them....i was never psycho i was jus havin hard time with the situation and it drove me a lil crazy thats all.

[Jayar]

i never had insecurities in any of other relationship......jus been screwed over many times. yeah i made mistakes here and there......everyone does....no one is perfect in this world......everyone makes mistakes and u learn from them....i was never psycho i was jus havin hard time with the situation and it drove me a lil crazy thats all.

 

You did have insecurities. Every post on this forum has been about your insecurities. Recognize them and fix them. It's possible! And you'll be a much better girlfriend for it too. What you have to realize now is that it is over because he doesn't want to be with you anymore. And you have to take what you learned here and apply it to your next relationship (there WILL be other relationships).

 

You're too good to sit around waiting for someone who clearly tells you he doesn't want to be with you. Besides, judging by your other posts about this guy he wasn't such a prize anyway. You can do better.

[krnswte143]

You did have insecurities. Every post on this forum has been about your insecurities. Recognize them and fix them. It's possible! And you'll be a much better girlfriend for it too. What you have to realize now is that it is over because he doesn't want to be with you anymore. And you have to take what you learned here and apply it to your next relationship (there WILL be other relationships).

 

You're too good to sit around waiting for someone who clearly tells you he doesn't want to be with you. Besides, judging by your other posts about this guy he wasn't such a prize anyway. You can do better.

 

thanks jayar

 

yeah, i'm sure i'll find someone who wants to be with me. sad, i kinda feel like he broke up w/ me cus i was havin too much problems w/ them.. that is the main reason. i guess i couldnt jus trust him or her........it was so hard for me when i was with him... day and night i thought about many things...gues it just drove me crazy.. guess my ex did me a favor and left me cus he knew i was goin crazy about it..

 

were both adults here..hes 33 and im 26.... i think we were havin communication problem and we are not that experience w/ relationship...so that is why it didn work out

 

i know my problems and im going to fix them.