Frustrated.....

[madcar52]

I figure I'll throw something out there into cyber space to see if I can get some info I think might help at this point. I am frustrated with just about every person in my life right now...I know, it must be me. The problem is I kind of know what about me it is, but at another level I don't understand.

 

People ask me for advise I give it and sometimes they get awkward and avoid calling or emailing, etc...I give what I feel is loving advise, I am polite, I don't attack, and by no means it is intended to be taken as I KNOW BEST, DO WHAT I SAY...it's just an opinion...take it or leave it. If something clicks with you great , if it doesn't whatever. Why are people so afraid of confronting feelings...and why do people have such a hard time dealing with peole who can talk about feelings?

 

I analyze alot of things...maybe I am too sensitive. I don't know...what I do know is I am feeling very frustrated with relationships in my life and I don't know what to do about it. any advice???

[Axel3sRoxas]

Maybe you should view things from the sidelines for a while; if they get angsty with your advice, simply don't offer it.

People tend to push feelings to the back of their mind rather than confront them, probably because it's just easier to deal with. Everyone has their own ways after all.

Just don't read into relationships too much, or your head might explode.

[mindreader]

------------------------------------

[madcar52]

Madcar have you tried telling these people how you feel about this matter, without giving any advice?

 

Your advise is much needed...thank you. I think I spent more time on giving advise or telling them how I perceived them and there actions...probably coming accross as pointing the finger or telling them what to do. Oh and of course not accepting any responsibility for what I may have done to affect the relationship..beyond "i know I am not perfect"..which is quickly followed by..."but you..." The problem is that I can be a bit of a control freak..which I might add is something only this week I have actually been willing to look at seriously. Although I feel like I am being helpful...I can see how it can be taken as intrusive..no doubt adding to strains in a relationainship. I have a lot of trouble not controlling a situaiton...needing to guide it in a direction that will make me feel comfortable...I don't know where this comes from. My guess is the more I think about it they probably don't want to say what's on their mind as they know I'll just discount it (totally not intentionally..I do care about them). I get frustrated when things don't turn out the way I hoped them to. I have only come to this relaization this week...and it's a bit hard for me to swallow...to realize that all this time when I thought I had all the answers for someone else and was doing the right thing is in fact getting the exact opposite desired result. I was in fact being perceived as a yeah...whatever!

 

This need to "control" obviously makes me feel dissappointed a lot of the times because people have not lived up to my expectations of what I think is the "right" way. I have a long way to go..changing habits and learnig about yourself is no easy task...I'd like to get away from being so dramatic with my loved ones until I can curb this and be a better communicator...that's why I signed up here..so I can learn to and have you guys help me with some advice...it's hard for my loved ones and friends to dish it up raw I am sure...but I got to hear it from somewhere to start having the relationships I want.

 

For the record I am not some crazy control freak that tells my husband what to wear...it's more around situations that affect me..it's like I need ot protect myself from something..but I don't know what!

 

Even here my 2 cents is more like a bag of coins...I gotta learn to say things in a much shorter way!

 

thanks guys

xo