Does she like me or is it mind games?

[bikjj]

Hello all

 

Well nice and simply put, there is a girl who I met at the gym and I have been helping over several months. Helping as in moving house, finances, internet etc and even emotional support. Over 5 months she confessed that she has thought about me in 'other ways'. So what does that mean?

 

I only helped her as a 'friend' and if i was in the 'friend zone' fine by me.

 

What I dont understand is that she 'sort of has a fella' but she is never clear about it. She wants to do other things like cinema, going around places, I even took her for a drink at the Hilton!

 

Im confused because she will then vanish from the face of the earth and not contact me, and then will most unexpectedly. One Tuesday I said that I may like her, and feel confused by her comments and feelings towards me.

 

I thought I wont be in denial and asked if she loved her boyfriend. After a long pause she said she did - but only coz she has been with him for nearly 2 years. She then burst into tears. She then said we should met and talk but again she aint spoken to me since.

 

Whats going on, any views?

[amtjrtcet]

Welcome to ENA!

 

Well, I think she's one of those women in a relationship that may not be completely happy, but doesn't have intentions to break it off. I think she likes flirting with you and knowing that you're interested b/c it makes her feel good.

But she's got a b/f, I'd say back off.

[bikjj]

Hey there!

 

When you say it like that, I agree. I think she may like the flirting with me. I know i should keep away. What advice would you give if she makes contact again?

[amtjrtcet]

If she makes contact again and its in a flirty way, then just tell her that the fact that she has a b/f that she "loves" makes you feel like you two should be completely PLATONIC.

[insofar]

To be honest, it sounds like she's really doubting her relationship with her boyfriend.

 

That said, the honorable thing to do would be to let that proceed without any input from you, which is to say, don't pressure her in any way and continue to be with her as a friend. If she stays with her boyfriend, she stays with her boyfriend, if not, things may start to change with you two.

 

But either way, you can't push it. If it starts to get too painful for you, I would advise just backing off as well.

[bikjj]

I agree she may be doubting the relationship. You may be pleased to know that my last text to her did say 'no matter what I will always be your friend first and foremost. I think it would be a good idea to meet and put things into perspective'. I aint heard from her for 8 days now. She was also meant to come to a bday with me tomorrow (Friday) but has not even confirmed!

 

So it is best if I leave things alone now? I should aslo stop her kissing me on the lips as well right? She does this everytime she says bye. I dont think anyting of it but she shouldnt do this if she has a fella right? Confusing!

[bikjj]

Just to keep you posted, I texted this girl last nite to politely ask if I could have a cd back. Not in an immature way but, I have not had contact for 9 days and the Cd means alot to me. Was this ok?