why cant i move on?

[funkless]

Well I liked this guy...he was very nice to me and then he went to boarding school. I think boarding school really changed him because when he came back...he was indifferent, didnt talk much, sorta cold in a way I just thought since he'd only been around boys for quite a while, he'd be a bit awkward around girls. Anyway I told him I liked him on MSN and thinking it was him he said: Stop stalking me...I was shocked and really upset...he had been so nice and then suddenly he just treated me with this indifference and rudeness.

However the next day, he came back on MSN explaining it was really his moronic friend talking to me and saying not to stalk him and after that I never have spoken to him again, although he talked to one of my friends later on and she said I was serious and I was really upset about it and he just laughed. Another friend spoke to him and he said he already knew.

 

I spoke to him on MSN since we live 100 km apart and we rarely have a chance to see each other plus his friends are always visiting him so he's pretty busy. My friend was doing this performance thing and she said after the show he came backstage to talk with the actors (including her) and she said he was really different, snobby almost.

 

My problem is, even though he's treated me horribly and didnt even tell me he just wasnt interested but laughed at my friends and me...I cant seem to get ova him. It's really tough. One part still believes he cares about me but I know he doesnt, however I find it really difficult to convince that part it's ova and he doesnt give a damn.

[charmed]

Hi Funkless !

 

Thanks for sharing with us I understand you are a bit confused about where you stand at the moment.

 

Firstly, you have put a number of people in the middle of your situation - his friend, your friend, ....if you are really serious, you need to talk with him, and I don't mean on MSN ! Whenever your next oppertunity to see him is, try to arrange to meet with him and talk about this situation. If I were you, I would be meeting him in a "clearing the air" way, but you can use it to suss out any feelings he may actually have for you. I think that your problem here may be that you need some closure, and this is probably the only real way to get it. Doing it in person will hopefully ensure that he is straight up with you - sitting on MSN it can be easy to be a bit different to what you normally are and to lie and decieve !!

 

What his mate did to you was a terrible thing - but don't believe that your guy had anything to do with that. As for laughing when your friend approached him, it's quite likely that he may have been dishonest with her out of embarressment !!

 

The bottom line is that you will not know the situation until you talk to him properly, and thats as simpleas it is. Just don't put yourself out on a platter for him in case he is really not interested - you will save yourself a bit of hurt and embarressment !!

 

Good luck,

 

Hope this helps some

 

~Charmed~

[funkless]

I feel I do need closure, I need to understand him because when I look at it I never did find out how he felt about me personally. I feel that not knowing how he did feel about me is the closure I need to move on. I also believe your right SwingFox, I have been living in the past. I kept thinking that just because he was nice last year doesnt mean he's gonna carry that polite attitude over especially after what I experienced- being laughed and humiliated by his friends.

 

I unfortunately won't be seeing him until the Christmas break and thats several months down the track...how does one stay sane until then?

 

Or is it possible that in 3 months time I wont care too much about the situation? I've liked him since December last year and my feelings for him are really intense and trying to let go is very painful. I often feel the need to look at a photo of him, think about him, listen to songs that remind me of him, anything that involves him. Sometimes I just start talking or thinking about him without realising...a bit like nail-biting...I dont realise Im chewing my nails until way later or my nails look like a bombsite.

[segagirl]

Hello,

 

I have been reading and thinking about this. I guess my question is do you not have phone contact with him?

 

I guess the way I see this, it does not sound like to two of you have been close for awhile. The closure you are looking for ...is what? whether he likes you are not? To be honest, I think it is clear he prob. thinks you are a nice girl...but he has not advanced anything with you in along time, and actually was down right rude. Not only that, but he knows you like him...has he made any effort to even MSN you?

 

Closure is good for ending relationships, finding out what went wrong. I think sure you can talk to him, just don't expect him to actually have an answer for you, or at least one you want to her.

 

I say let it go, move on. When and if you do see him again, maybe things will change.

[funkless]

Closure is good for ending relationships, finding out what went wrong. I think sure you can talk to him, just don't expect him to actually have an answer for you, or at least one you want to her.

 

 

I dont have phone contact with him

 

Closure to find out how he felt about me exactly (this is prolly wat went wrong... I feel I didnt find out how he felt because he sounded not too accurate or interested in saying anything..but shouldnt him laughing at us be enuff?? I guess love really blinds!)...Im just wondering if finding out how he felt about me is a good thing to do...it could be something horrible...likes he's found another girl in the city or at a girls boarding skool or he hates me for some obscure reason. I know he only made one effort to MSN me after I told him I liked him was to explain to me it was his friend chatting to me and not him and thats it...I did message him once more but he just went offline and I believe he blocked me...

 

I dont think he will give me a straight answer...his friends might say something though or he might just be rude and give me something horrible again sometimes I dont think asking him how he feels or talking to him is good..his laughter should be an indication now but I've been too blind and upset to think properly...I could be serving myself up for more pain and humiliation

 

But I dont ever give up hope that oneday I will wake up and not care about Sam anymore and I can live my life without him and those feelings bogging me down