Now what do I do?

[JSHRN]

My love adventure continues....

 

Allison asked me out just over a month ago. Even though she's currently living with someone (it's over and he's moving out) she wants us to be more than just friends. We've shared many passionate kisses but just don't spend much time together outside of work. I've gotten past the fact that, technically, she's still with someone but there's more. She's told me that she really enjoys my company and spending time with me - trouble is, she still spends more time with her friends than with me. I'm a little insecure about this. Last week and this week we had planned on spending a little time together. Monday night she invited up to her house for the day. Tuesday she called me and said she had gone with "Jenn and Bob swimming at his pool". I made myself unavailable as well for the rest of the day. She left me a message last night and today but I've decided to make myself unavailable again. I really have nothing planned. I just feel I need to be "away" and let her "chase" me.

 

Just after we started dating we'd sneak a kiss at work or we'd spend a little time together. She says she's not ready for a serious relationship but wants us to be more than just friends. The way I look at it - what we have together she can have with any guy. She insists that she's found someone (me) but wants to see what happens. I understand this but am wonder why, when we have time to spend together she spends with her friends. She spends a lot of time with 2 in particular.

 

Does any one have ideas as to what she's doing? I feel a little insensitive by making myself unavailable but feel that she'll start to miss me and realize that "i've moved on". (I haven't). I'd enjoy developing something more with her (without getting serious yet). I've asked her about this and she insists that she doesn't want me out of her life.

 

Any thought?

[segagirl]

I said before.....I really don't like the playing games deal. If she finally makes time for you...you should jump on it. She is not playing games with you, she is just is a tough spot. He will be gone in like a week right? Just stick it out, and spend all the time with her you can.

[JSHRN]

I really don't think she's playing games either and I realize she's in a tough spot now. Why do you think, when we have time to spend together discreetly, she chooses to spend it with her friends? I mean, we haven't spent anytime together outside of work in 2 weeks. The first few weeks of us dating were great - we talked, laugh and had a good time - she didn't want to leave. Now, nothing much. I accept the fact that she's not ready for a serious relationship but lately we've just been casual friends and I wonder what happened that things have cooled off?

[segagirl]

hard to say, just a lot going on at home I am sure. And if she is feeling any stress or anxiety from you....well that could be keeping her at a distance as well. I really just would advise that you take it slow, she her all you can...and be supportive. No hurry...you got some place better to be? (i hope that is a no)

Just give her the time..... :

[JSHRN]

No, I don't have a better place to be. A friend asked if someone else asked me out now what would I do? Depending on who it was I probably wouldn't accept. I know that sounds like I'm "holding out" for Allison and, in a way I guess I am. But she makes me feel so good inside.

 

Am I forcing something that isn't there?

 

I continue to be supportive to her but feel a little intimidated by directly asking her what's going on. I already have and she reiterated that she's not ready for a serious relationship - just someone to spend time and come and go and she pleases. That's fine. But if I'm unavailable and don't call for 2 days she thinks I want her out of my life.

 

She always tell me I'm different and special, unlike any other guy she's ever met. But I feel there's something she's not telling me.