Depressed and Jealous

[Jeepster_251]

I have not been in a relationship for 4 years now. My last one ended because my x cheated on me and I have been in a downward spiral since. I have a hard time trusting people and I am depressed because I am alone yet.

 

I have a friend that I have a little crush on maybe it is an infactuation because I know she does not feel the same about me. Well for the last 3 weeks I have been there anytime she needed me becasue she jsut got out of a relationship. I was there 24/7 for her, all of a sudden she feels better she is going out meeting new people....great, I am jealous now that she has met a new guy already and I am still by myself. All of a sudden I am having all these thought going through my head of being lonely and I feel this is only because she has moved on so fast and again....I am still by myself. I don't have that many friends that I feel comfotable talkign about my problems with. Also I usually help others and not myself, but when I help other I fell that I should get a little something in return, like a little help for myself, does this seem to be selfish, I don't think it is. What can I do get help myself about gettign jealous and help myself about feeling lonely.

 

thank you for reading.

[Jitrenda]

Welcome to enotalone Jeepster!

 

Well, i was once like that. I still am somewhat. I have an extremely hard time trusting people...and i always will.

 

I understand that you are upset b/c she is with a new guy. My question is...why didn't you ask her out? The worst she could say is no.

 

I have been depressed too...so i know the feeling...it's not a great feeling. But to feel better about yourself...you need to get out there. Go for a walk each day...even if it's only like a minute long...so enough you will build up your confidence. It is hard battling depression i know. But you can overcome it.

 

I think it's great you like to help others. But it is wrong to think that if you help people they should help you in return. Helping others should be a gift, pure and simple...not with the pretense they should help you.

 

If you just give without expecting anything in return, you will find that people will help you when you need. If you need help hon...just ask them for help...just like they asked you for help. There is nothing wrong in asking for help...sometimes it's the best thing in the world to do.

 

Being jealous is natural...just be careful it doesn't get out of hand. She found someone new, i know you wish it was you, but maybe next time she is single you can ask her and maybe her answer will be yes...you never know until you ask.

 

Getting help for feelin lonely...that's easy...go for walks, get involved in after school activities or volunteer or join a youth group...there are a lot of options.

 

I hope this helps!

 

I wish you luck!

 

-jitrenda

[EtheLion]

Hello there. I'll b straight. Keeping ur feelings to urself and becoming jealous is not good for long term. U may end up feeling more miserable often seeing couples or tt ger u liked wif another guy. Wad i cld help u in a way is try to forget the downside of being single though its hard and live ur way to gain a new lease of life. I've done it and it feels a whole lot burden off my shoulder. U shld put urself out of a pond and into an ocean. Once u open ur eyes u can c many diff types of girls out there. Every guy face loneliness and its up to them if dey wan to move on or stay in a damp pit. Simply put...Kick urself up and open ur eyes for a whole new world awaits u!

[BigKillaPoet]

I'm exactly like that, and have gone through the same thing exactly. I was with a girl for five years and then she cheated on me...I've been single for three years now...and it still hurts like heck to try to be with another woman.

 

I fell a little for a friend of mine, but same thing happened I built her up and she moved on to find a "man" so here I sit, alone and trapped in my insane world of thoughts and poetry...it isn't so bad you know...the world...get out there...and I could take some of the same advice...

 

But always remember this...to help someone out should never require a back payment you help them because you love them...that's it...nothing in return they don't have to love you back...don't let that change you...ever...someday we'll meet women who can appreciate what we do have to offer...and that affect of jealous will be reversed...it sorta happened already for me to brother...but eventually you'll get over your crush and then they'll want you...it works like that...by then you'll be laughing...

[Jeepster_251]

Thank you, I feel a little better about my jealousy and feelings for my friend. I did a lot of things yeserday to keep my mind off it.

 

I was wondering if you could help me with this?

 

Last night I talked to my friends sister and she said ther her and her parents confronted my friend and asked her why she was basically moving on so fast and why I am basically lef tin the shadows since I have been at her becon call since she was havig her problems. I don't believe they gave her an answer. I have this really weird feeling already that she is taking my friendship with her for granted already. she said she took her last relationship for granted and now they are not together. She know that I will be there for her when she needs me, but I have the feeling when I need her she is not going to be there for me.

 

What can I do about this?

[BigKillaPoet]

If you don't trust she will be there for you...I think you should find someone who you will trust will be there for you. She can still of course be your friend...but you need to find someone who will reciprocate your compassion and love...when you do your jealousy will subside, and you'll be just fine...

[deepshallowhuman]

Focus on the good things, they are there, youve just got to find them. If you dont want to participate in the world right now just watch it and exist in it for a while, the simplest things are amazing and our problems pale when you consider the all. definitely have to stop drinking beer now!