The pain of when they don't call, the pain of when they do

[Anotherday]

When I first joined this forum I learned of the no contact thing and it made sense. So I did no contact for a week and then he called me.

 

I know it's weird and I don't want anything further to do with the person in question, but it feels like it ended so ugly and plus I just completely lost it, cussing, screaming, etc. That's not really who I am and I wish I hadn't even responded to the call.

 

Okay, I cannot undue what I did. I'd like to find a way to fix things so they are not so ugly, but that may be impossible. I've decided to turn my phone off during the day and only check for voice mails at night. That way, I don't have to deal with knowing if he called or not. I wish I could just be strong and leave it on, come what may, but not getting a call or getting a call will be bad either way.

 

Anyone ever done this and did it make things easier?

[Lady Bugg]

I have...but not with a phone. I have deleted an email account. I say do whatever makes you feel stronger and more in control. If it works for you..then do it. Desperate times call for desperate measures sometimes...nothing wrong with taking care of yourself in the best way possible.

[Anotherday]

I have...but not with a phone. I have deleted an email account. I say do whatever makes you feel stronger and more in control. If it works for you..then do it. Desperate times call for desperate measures sometimes...nothing wrong with taking care of yourself in the best way possible.

 

I did not turn it off yet this a.m. and he just now called -- 6:30 a.m. I'm already a basketcase going into my job, and I sure don't need to talk to him to start my day off horribly. He left a VM and I am not going to listen to it. It's probably him yelling at me for leaving him a message on his work cell phone (which he hates) on Saturday night while he was standing me up.

 

Lord, give me strength, because I'm going to need it. We all do.

 

Geez, I didn't want that message in my mailbox so I didn't listen to it I just saved it. It was marked urgent. Now I'm going to think there's a crisis or that he needs me and wonder. But I am still not going to listen to it. He cannot hurt me ever again if there is NC.

[buylowe]

I am new to the site, have been dealing with a terrible situation. I re-engaged in contact, after she ws so persistent, only to be let down and heartbroken again. I spent all day in bed today. I learned today that she is seeing someone new, after thinking that there was no one else in the picture. She said she is confused, but once I learned of this, I was so sick to my stomach that I told her to never call me again. This only made me sink further, but the thought of her with another man emotionally and physically after such a short period of time makes me question who she is. I have been unable to date anyone. We were talking about marriage. I had started planning the engagement!!! How could she moveon so fast?

[buylowe]

I am new to the site, have been dealing with a terrible situation. I re-engaged in contact, after she ws so persistent, only to be let down and heartbroken again. I spent all day in bed today. I learned today that she is seeing someone new, after thinking that there was no one else in the picture. She said she is confused, but once I learned of this, I was so sick to my stomach that I told her to never call me again. This only made me sink further, but the thought of her with another man emotionally and physically after such a short period of time makes me question who she is. I have been unable to date anyone. We were talking about marriage. I had started planning the engagement!!! How could she moveon so fast?

[Anotherday]

I am new to the site, have been dealing with a terrible situation. I re-engaged in contact, after she ws so persistent, only to be let down and heartbroken again. I spent all day in bed today. I learned today that she is seeing someone new, after thinking that there was no one else in the picture. She said she is confused, but once I learned of this, I was so sick to my stomach that I told her to never call me again. This only made me sink further, but the thought of her with another man emotionally and physically after such a short period of time makes me question who she is. I have been unable to date anyone. We were talking about marriage. I had started planning the engagement!!! How could she moveon so fast?

 

I don't know. Sometimes I wonder (for me) if they were ever really there to start with. I feel terribly deceived and like I was just a mouse to bat around for his pleasure, when he felt like it. True love does NOT move on that fast.

 

I too feel like telling him to never call me again, but if I don't respond to his message this a.m. (which was horrible) that might just say more than I could ever say in words. It's the toughest thing for me, not to at least say my piece, but it has only brought me heartache. So many people told me to get out, that he wasn't good for me. Now all I can do is implement NC.

 

Just the night before he stood me up, he'd been saying he wanted me to take him with me when I leave, that I didn't really know him, that we'd talk the following day. Then without so much as a phone call he stands me up and then gets angry with me. I don't need that, and you certainly don't need someone who replaces you so quickly. I am sorry for your pain.

 

Also, I was telling myself earlier that I don't need to know everything, I really don't want to know everything. There is more to the story that I feel very ashamed of and brokenhearted, but I just can't discuss it.

[LilPixie]

My advise is to change your phone number.

I tried turning my cell off as well for the first few weeks.

 

My husband cheated on me and there is nothing in this world that he can say to make it better. If he called to apologize I would cry. If he called to tell me how he doesn't want to see me ever again I would cry. The result is exactly the same.

 

So I changed my cell number after a month or two.

I deleted his e-mail account and moved.

 

It's been 4 months. I feel safe and protected. And I stopped crying.