Mom want ex in jail. Anyput.

[AdriSnow]

This man has been makeing my life a living hell. I dated him for 8 months I was sixteen at the time he was 27. He always would dump me and we would get back together. Over all it was a good relationship. One day he wanted to get physical and I called the cops. He did got o jail or anything. SO we broke up.I have many false hopes we will get back together and he uses them to his advatage. He invites me over acts so in love with me we have sex he tells me he loves me.Then forgets to call for a week and forgets i'm alive.

 

Then out of the blue he cures my depression. Calls and asks to hang out. I try not to but I can't seem to force myselfnot to. Once again how much he loves, me makes more plans to see me, has sex and forgets about me.

The he stands me up and I get real sad. A couple more days go by I get angry and depressed.

 

I have build up some need for him Wish he will care abotu me again.. I think about him all the time. I cannot seem to stop If I email him I will check my email once every hour. I don't understand whats happening to me. It's like I need him to be around even through he is just going to leave me. I knwo ithas somethign to do with my past and my age.

 

 

I realize this is extremely unhealthy. When I was younger I was raped spent most of my childhood depressed and suicidal. From that experience I created an attatchment hunger my ex is now takeing advantage of. My need for him, and me alwasy coming back to him no matter how cruel he is. He is useing me and it hurt so badly.

I am happy or depressed epenind on how he treats me.

Now, my mother wants to put him in jail. I do to Just to help myself. I have so many combatative feelign toward this.

I am scared if these patterns with my ex keep reoccurring I am going to hurt myself not only mentaly but physically.

I don't what what adive I am asking for but, I need some

thank for your time

[southerngirl]

He is alot older than you and like you pointed out, he is using your vulnerability for his benifit.

 

I feel he is using you for sex. YOu say that he will be all nice and loving, you will have sex then he will not call you for weeks at a time.

 

He hit you? Is that what you mean by 'wanted to get physical and I called the cops'. he keeps breaking up with you and then coming back.

 

You take him back.

 

Your mother is right to want this man to stay away from you.

 

I would think you should cut all contact with him. Lick your wounds... Let time pass. Worry about yourself and healing yourself.

 

Find a good psychologist that has experiance with rape, heal yourself.

 

He isnt a solution, he is just making things worse.

[AdriSnow]

Thanks, it's so hard for me tho

[southerngirl]

Its going to be hard. Sometimes whats good for us isnt allways easy. Stay busy, stay involved in something.

 

Cut off contact, you are broken up right now right? Dont call him, dont take his calls... have no contact. Its about healing yourself, you can drive yourself crazy if you keep this going on.

[freedom]

Hey, i am sorry that you are in such a position with this guy. The only advice that i can give you from hat i see is that you have given him control of your emotions and yourself.

As i see it, the way to get out of this is to control the situation and reverse it so YOU have to control. I suppose what i am saying is this;

YOu are the one that has decided not to call him because he isnt good enough

He is not a good candidate for a long term relationship thereofore YOU dont see hiim with any future in your life.

YOu choose not to be with anyone that is inconsiderate, rude, selfish and has no future.

He is a no hoper as he doesnt meet your standards and thereforeeee you are dropping him.

These decisions are for yourself and not to be told to him because he will use them to his advantage.

Call him and dump him and do a NC. Take control and rememberthat you are in control. He cannot affect you anymore as you are the one caling the shots.

I hope this helps

[Ms. Babydoll]

It seems like he is using you for sex, you obviously want more, let him go, he isn't worth the pain.