Nothing but a number?

[littleL_RN]

I've always dated men that were around my own age.

 

But after my last relationship, I started to realize that I am just more compatible with men who are bit older. Maybe in the 25-30 category.

 

Unfortunately, in my current situation, my age is working against me. I know there are probably certain stereotypes directed toward the 21 year-old demographic. Care-free. Irresponsible. Impulsive.

 

I've listened to multiple theories that the person you are at 21 could change drastically by the time you reach 25 or 26. Ok, I'll buy that to an extent. But there's no way I will honor it as the absolute truth.

 

I have decent goals and a (reasonably) stable personality I just don't see that changing anytime soon.

 

I read a post by a guy that mentioned being the older, 24 year-old person in a relationship is tough, and that he couldn't take his 21 year-old girlfriend out with his friends. Why?

 

This is so discouraging to me.

 

Really, is this type of age gap the proverbial poison in a relationship?

 

Do some men find it embarrassing to be dating a girl that is 3-5 years their junior?

[laboheme]

As many people have said, it's not the age...it's the maturity and place in life that matters. Supposing that a 26 year-old man has a stable job and is looking to eventually settle down because he feels he's ready. And he's dating a college junior who does not yet know what she's going to be doing after school and wants to take full advantage of her freedom to "live life to the max." Chances are, the relationship is not going to work out because they're looking for different things. It's not the fact that the girl is 21 (and possibly enjoying finally being 21); I think it would be the same if she was 30. It's just the fact that the guy is trying to put his life together, while the girl is not thinking about that quite yet. Of course, that can go the other way, too, with older women and younger care-free men.

 

That's not to say that age gap relationships can't work out, of course. It's just that sometimes...you can't relate to the other person's situation. I'm a junior in college and consider myself to be ambitiout, hard-working and mature, yet I can't see myself dating a graduate student or a full-time professional. Not because I'm not up to par, intellectually or otherwise. No way, I can give them a run for their money. But right now, my concerns are different from theirs, and my life is much less stable.

 

If you say you're more compatible with older men, then go for it. Every situation is different, and maybe you'll find an older guy who works perfectly with you!

[CamGuy]

First and formost, the whole "maturity" argument is BS. I will agree with Labo for a sec that anyone can be immature. Rather you're 15 or 50. I also agree it is about wanting the same things out of life, and at a similar point in eachothers lives that bring people together.

[Caterina]

Yeah, it probably has less to do with maturity and more to do with having the same place in life. Someone who is in college can't financially contribute, for instance, the way someone a few years older can.

[littleL_RN]

I don't think maturity is an issue either.

 

I am just wondering now if other people's opinions, whether it be friends or family or the stranger on the bus, cause someone to think that an age gap in a romantic relationship is undesirable.

[dude69]

Where do women like yourself hang out ?? im curious because they are really hard to find..

 

im 19 and ive been looking for a girl that is at the same level of maturity as myself... theres a saying that says that women are usualy more mature then men.. but lately i kinda find that hard to believe.

 

If you two are really into each other, age gap shoudnt be the reason why someone doesnt want to be with someone. I was with a girl that was 3 years younger then me and everything said "oh shes to young" but the thing that they didnt understand was that she acted more mature then all of them. She also looked older then all of them also.

 

Anyway, conclusion is, if two people love each other... something like an age gap shouldnt be something that stops you. (unless hes 60 and shes 12 type of thing)