so confused i can cry!!

[smiles314]

HEy guys..Ok cutting to the chase. I feel very confused. Im 20. ANd my ex and i have been going back and forth for a yr, and went out for 7 mos. b4 that. WE go to college together so will be seeing each other in a few wks. We have been apart for the summer, for over 3 months. Now recently he has been saying to me that he has been seriously thinking and realizes that something has never died btwn and he wants me, but doesnt kno in what way exactly since we havent been together in a while. He tried to explain to me the reasons he was so unsure about his feelings towards me, and tried to explain the reason for the break up. But im just so confused bc i dont know what i want, or what i should do and whats best for me.

It seems like he is good and ready for a gf now, and is lonely and thereforeeeee thats why he is ready to be with me again.. I dont doubt his love for me, and that he cares very deeply but i do feel as if he thinks he is in control of the situation. My heart still has a lot of feelings for him..And i love spending time with him. But i was hurt badly by him before so maybe i should just forget it, and try to be distant friends. I feel this bond with him though, this connection that hasnt died so im just very confused. I dont know what to do here. Or what would make him actually wake up, and really show me hwo much he cares- since he says a lot of stuff but not enough action. I feel like i deserve better but i feel like i havent felt this way about anybody in a very long time. Do i make sense here? I havent spoke with him for just a few days and i miss him already. But since we havent seen each other in a few months, maybe its just a temporary feeling of missing him. And once he sees me that will be enough for him or me? I dont kno. I guess getting bak with an ex is just so confusing. I know what people say, but i dont know if its even worth it. A lot of hesitations here, but my heart just overcomes me sometimes.

[Seraph]

Hey smiles,

I'd say the most important thing here is to make sure you don't get hurt again. So put up some safeguards. You trust his intentions, but you don't know how the future will be based on a bad past. I understand your confusion.

It's hard to say what's best for you. Some might say to stay away b/c he broke your heart once, what's keeping him from one day "realizing" that the feelings did actually die and hurt you again. Others might say follow your heart, and do what makes you happy.

I'm somewhere in between. If I was in your situation, I would want to be with him. I would thereforeeeee spend some time with him, get to know the new, improved person that he is. However! At the same time, I would keep my expectations low, and continue to just think of him as a friend. I'd take things very slowly. Like you said, he needs to do more than just talk. He needs to prove he'll stay. Since you haven't been together in a while, try it. As long as you don't get attached, it can't hurt.

So, summing that up. Spend some time with him. Don't get attached. Take it a day at a time; be cautious.

Your feelings of missing him/deserving better are totally normal and I understand them all. But I guess time will tell.

 

Best of luck!