I am afraid a lack of lovelife is making me an workaholic!

[theproman23]

So i got a full time job as a financial analyst about 4 omnths ago. I LOVE THE JOB! but lately I've been spending close to 11 hours a day just at work not including the 45 mins each way it takes me to get to work everyday. Last wed I never went to bed after getting home from work around 6:30 PM and then went back to work on thu at 5:00 AM and stayed till 6:30 PM doing work. They just provided me with remote access so lately after working my 11 hour days I've been coming home eating something real quick hoping online to remotly get in to my work PC to do more work. I do the same on the weekends. I guess part of it has to do with this deadline we have to meet with the government to meet adhere to some deadlines. I've even been told by my boss that I should'nt be working soo much. He actually came up to me today at 6:00 PM telling me to go home and left. I stayed till about 6:30 PM and left. No surprise but I am on remote access right now and am taking a small break. I am about to go to bed soon to wake up and go back to work at 6:30 AM and will probably end up staying till 6:00 again.

 

The things is this is a entry level position and am being assinged a ton of work. Now don't get me wrong I love it but with my personality I can't say no to work and have to meet deadlines. I am salaried and so it does'nt matter how many hours I work a week I get paid the same amount.

 

I have been hanging out with this girl for the last few months and thing are going ok, were not dating but we're not exactly just friends either. We don't kiss or anything but we do act like a couple with everything else. I feel like a lack of love life my mind is subconsiocly forcing me to work and over work myself. I feel like I am using it to distract myself. I don't want to grow up and have heart problems from stress. Any opinions?

[Tigris]

My advise is spend more time with the girl and less time at work. If you don't cut back on your hours you could become ill like I did. I haven't worked for 7 years now through ill health. The stress was too much for me. I ended up with an illness called 'Fibromyalgia Syndrome' which affects both my physical and mental abilities. My memory is affected too!

 

Please don't make a mess of your life like I did.

 

Good luck and take care.

[theproman23]

I am sorry to hear that. Thank you for the advice. I think the reason I do this to myself is because I don't really get to see her. She does'nt really feel like hanging out all the time. I see her may be once every weekend although we do talk everday. I want to see her more but she tells me she's tired. My friends are all busy too so I don't get to really see them either. I think I might be using my work to distract myself from the fact that I am feeling lonely.

[Tigris]

Instead of taking her out all the time why don't you suggest you stay in for a change and get a pizza and a dvd and cuddle up on the settee.

[friscodj]

I personally think you are going through a "workaholic" phase. You say you love the job, you're making some cash, and you're setting up the building blocks for a good career...

 

I believe that if you keep drilling it on the job, eventually, you'll essentially get this out of your system...and have some nice residual benefits to boot...

 

By doing the legwork early, you are building your resume and impressing your boss, all good things which may lead to different positions down-the-road which my require fewer hours...or you may realize this isn't the career for you, in which case, these references will still do you good. Maybe you'll make some contacts on this job and end up starting your own business or something...early retirement...who knows...

 

You're young, you love your job, I say live it up. Your normal emotional and intellectual development will dictate different definitions of "living it up" when the time is right...

[theproman23]

I love that I am doing a great job at work and I AM getting the recognition. In my review about 2 weeks ago my boss was telling me that the CFO of my company was asking about me and was saying that I was doing a good job, Which felt great, Which is one of the reasons I put in so much time and effort. I also got a 150 dollar ticket package for a gift the other day.

 

This girl I've been hanging out with barely lets me see her. I think that's whats bothering me than me working so much but I do think I am using my work to ail my lonliness. I am going to try and make more plans with her but I've noticed that I work more hours everytime she's says no or does'nt want to do anything. But I know my problem and I know what the benefits and consequences are so I think I am going to be able to fix things. Thank you all for reading and giving me your opinions.

[friscodj]

Hey TPM-

 

I think given your situation, a low-maintenance, low-time-committed relationship is exactly what you need. Find someone who's in a similar place in their life as you are in yours.

[Baby Carrot]

I am salaried and so it does'nt matter how many hours I work a week I get paid the same amount.

 

That can't be right.

 

Why working for free when you can use that time for having a love life?

 

I think is out of balance. You should try and learn to say NO, since you're not even getting paid for the extra effort...

[Tigris]

It's nice to know that your company have noticed your enthusiasm and commitment.

 

If your girlfriend isn't putting 50% of effort into your relationship now then I don't think she's going to do that in the future. You need someone that's going to match your input in the relationship.

 

I hope you find that person soon.

 

Good luck and take care.