do confident guys get shy?

[oneshygal]

Hey guys-

 

Do you consider yourself a generally confident guy around most women but have a certain girl who for some reason makes you shy?

 

There's this guy I'm interested in who is outgoing and boisterous with men and most girls but seems kinda nervous when he sees me coming his way. He usually speaks loudly, but with the few words I've managed to pull out of him I can notice that he speaks softer. I can see him glancing at me out of the corner of my eye when he walks by me, but when we get within a few feet of each other he will hardly ever look me in the eye.

 

Also, the other day we walked right by each other and exchanged "hello's" but then 30 minutes later we found ourselves in the same situation from about 30 feet away....he was standing there looking at something and looked up to see me coming and instantly turned to go avoid the situation.

 

Does this sound like he's shy or uninterested? The constant glances and sharp turns of his head when I look up to catch him are not easy to decipher!

 

Thx!

[CluelessGuy321]

Yes. It's a weird issue for me though.

 

3 Catagories:

 

Girls I'm not attracted to, i can joke around with and be completely goofy with and be cool with, but I don't go away thinking much about them. It's like they're one of my guy friends kinda.

 

Girls I'm attracted to but I think are "out of my league" are girls I think are modelesque, but wouldn't want anything to do with me - I mentally distance myself from the attraction and speak and act in a professional way and hide my feelings. This isn't a good thing....I think I come off as cold and arrogant. And a certain person I've confessed this to has asked me "What league?! Relationships are about people getting to know each other as people." Something for me to ponder more on....

 

Girls I'm attracted to and think I have a chance - is the worst for me. I'll say stupid things and do things that would distance me from them. To hide my feelings. Probably a mix of insecurity and mental block. I can't think of the right things to say.

 

I can honestly say I'm a shy guy when it comes to the opposite sex - and much of it has to do with influence that I've received from parents and the media. I'm trying very hard to break this hold it has on me. I think shyness is mostly fear of rejection, humiliation, and caring too much about what others think to act in a way that one wants.

 

So even around someone I'm very attracted to, I can act cold and uninterested....just because it's a defense mechanism. I'm sure it's true for many people.

 

 

Edit: Whoops, I was lost in my thoughts and ramblings.

 

 

Anyways, if he's looking away and acting nervous around you, then it's a tell tale sign that he is interested - because if he wasn't he'd have no problem just being normal around you.

[Roi]

Yea i agree, thats the same here, hit the nail on the head.

[tmp0620]

Yup, definitely interested

[oneshygal]

thanks for the replies!

 

Can you comment on the "avoidance" part? that's what really confuses me!

 

I keep reading posts that if a guy is interested he will try to get closer and initiate conversation with you, so why would he avoid an opportunity to exchange another "hello" or make some more eye contact? There was no one else around but us, yet he quickly fled the scene when he saw me coming.

 

When guys do this do they realize it makes the girl feel like he doesn't want any contact with her? Or are they oblivious to this? When he did this it made me nervous to try to talk to him again because I don't want to bother him.

 

Thx!

[allgood]

because his nervous and might slip up like voice might stutter.......happened to me once......man was that badd........or he might say something stupid...his confident around other people so he doesnt want to look weak around u.........

im a shy guy, i can act alright if im not interested but if iam it takes awhile for me to get comfortable around a girl i like....but if i knew them before i liked them its easier, im more comfortable.....

[allgood]

im loud around people when im comfortable and look confident but yeah once the LIKE thing operates.....its hard to be around

[Markers]

if a guy acts like that towards you, he's interested.

 

 

 

This is how it is for me, and sorry for the lack of modesty, but I seem to be quite a funny guy who always has some funny comments to throw. People seem to generally like me, I have a ton of friends etc.

 

However, there's like 2 girls in my class who I could be interested in, and if I'm talking to them, I'm not funny at all. I just can't seem to automatically come up with the most witty comments. I mean sometimes yeah, but often it doesn't work out as well as it normally does. And boy does that suck! I noticed though that if we're in a group, and I talk to the group and not to the girl, I seem to be able to relax better and I talk better.

 

So yeah, that's a definitely a sign, happens to everyone, girls too.

[ladeedah]

I am in the exact same boat, oneshygal! Good to know I'm not alone. My guy freezes on the spot in front of me, brushes by me without saying sanything and mumbling his hellos. Once in a while he will approach and do something that shows he likes me like covering my hand with his when passing me a plate but than he scares himself because he runs like the wind now whenever i approach. Shy guys...argh!!!!! And keep in mind he is an outgoing and fun guy around everyone but me...I think I make him nervous a result I'm nervous and hesitant to go near himb/c i have no idea how he will react!

[oneshygal]

this is good...very good responses.

 

So what would he be doing if he wasn't interested....or if he thought I was just plain ol' weird? Could that be a reason for him to avoid me in the situations I described? Would he continue to look over at me and look to see if I'm looking at him?

 

Also, let's just say you WERE NOT interested in a girl, would you still be flattered that she is trying to talk to you even if you thought she might have a crush on you? Or would you avoid all areas where you might happen to run into her so that she isn't encouraged??

[Talon1]

Hello,

I wouldn't worry too much.

I'm pretty good with flirting and girls but this is only true with girls I have no interest in. When it comes to the one girl that I really really like, I freeze up and wouldn't know what to do. It's like she has this "radio mechanism" that "interferes" with me whenever I'm around her and I just can't say or do anything around her. So I might just avoid her a little to get out of a awkward situation.

[atraceofblood]

I consider myself a shy guy, but I'm pretty confident around people I know and at my job on campus where I work around lots of college students.

 

I just get REALLY shy around girls I have an interest in. I have the hardest time letting them know I like them. The way I act around them and talk to them doesn't really know that I like them, but inside I really do like them. I just have a hard time expressing my true feelings to the girls.

 

I'd appreciate it if girls took the first move more often! I think it would help shy guys like me get our real feelings out.

[gunnersfc9]

hey...

Funny enough, I think I fall under this category. Based on what I've heard from others, I'm usually seen as the funny, outgoing, friendly, and energetic guy when I'm interacting with others. BUT, when I'm interested in that special somebody, I tend to get all reserved and shy towards her. I'm not necessarily nervous because I'm generally confident around girls, but I guess I'm just trying to protect my self from exposing too much of my attraction/interest for the gal. So yeah, I guess guys like me do exist in this topsy-turvy world. =)

[RufusDawes]

you can hypothesise and discuss things all you want but theres only really one way to find out.

[atraceofblood]

you can hypothesise and discuss things all you want but theres only really one way to find out.

 

oh yeah!!! good one.

 

Please talk to the guy and find out!