ready to date?

[loveisaparadox]

We have been separated for a year and totally broken up for about a month. It's a difficult situation because we have a child and NC is not really possible. So I'm having a lot of trouble healing from this. She has met someone, and is already in the beginning stages of moving on.

 

I'm still in that zone where I can't imagine feeling so good with anybody else. But I'm kind of desperate to get over this, it's not like me to pine over somebody! There's a woman I have known for years and we seem to get together in between our relationships. We have always liked each other, but circumstances seem to have prevented us from getting serious. We had sex and it was horrible: I felt absolutely nothing. It was empty.

 

So I'm freaked out now. Am I going to ever enjoy intimicy again? Maybe I shouldn't date anyone for awhile.

[NCTuskie]

I understand where you're coming from. I had an intimate encounter about a week after my break up. It was from a previous ex who had been throwing it at me for years, and I decided to catch this one time. I felt the same way... meaningless, un-intimate, I just wanted her to leave and be left alone.

 

Now its been nearly three months since the break up, and I went out on my first date since then. It was a blind date, and I went out basically to get the party who arranged it of my back. While I went into it with an open mind, she really wasn't my type, so I don't expect it to go anywhere.

 

It'll take time bro'. Don't rush it- believe me. Take time to be by yourself, as cliche'd as it sounds. You'll live and love once again, but you have give it time.

[joyce1412]

have you ever seen the "sex and the city" episode about carrie and her sex buddy? that reminds me of your situation. she tried to make her sex buddy her boyfriend, because she figured, "here's a guy who i know and like, why wouldn't we be able to make it work?" needless to say, she found out there was a REASON they had known each other so long and HADN'T gotten together. i bet if you two had liked each other enough, you would have already started something. then, when you had sex, it called to attention the fact that you weren't that excited about her in the first place. just a theory...

 

it's going to take the right woman and the right time. so far you haven't had the right woman, and whether it's the right time, you don't know yet. you'll figure it out.