What to do?????

[Aishin86]

Hi

I'll try and make this detailed but brief

..I'm 21... I work in Insurance ..

a week ago.. me and this other girl at work whom prior to this incident I'd never spoken to before.. were included in an email to a mutual friend..

I replied to the email... with her included on it... and when I replied...

she sent me a direct email... ever since then.. for the past week... we've been emailing each other...literally..like....every 2 minutes..

 

She came out of a bad breakup recently...with someone I know at work..

 

at first.. I thought she was just being friendly...which from experience...is what alot of girls do

Then.. as we continued to email each other.. she gave me her msn email address...and since then...we've been chatting online after work...as well as emailing each other (every 2 minutes...literally) at work..

 

now.. I know...that i'm a person...who jumps to conclusions very very quickly.. so one time...when she came online...I didn't msg her... just to see what she'd do... she sent me nudges and spammed me with msgs ... (to my obvious delight )

 

now...the problem is.... I'm trying to work out what she's thinking...coz prior to this.... even if we walked past each other at work... we'd never even as much as say 'Hi' to each other...maybe we'd nod..

 

as for the records.....she is drop dead gorgeous... which confuses me even more...coz normally... I would think I'm out of her league .. except.. I'm really starting to like this girl...

 

What do I do??!!

[pooh-bare]

Be careful of being her "rebound" ........ Old saying : Best way to get over one man is to get under another.......easy does it.

[NJRon]

Be cautious of your feelings. There are two potential flags here that you need to think about...

 

1. She just got out of a relationship with someone else that she worked with

2. You two work together

 

I wouldn't waste too much time trying to "figure out" what she's thinking. What are *you* thinking? That's more important. The best way to find out what someone else is thinking is to ask.

[Aishin86]

hahaha... yeh.. I thought about the rebound.... but

I came out of a bad breakup like her not that long ago hahaha

....but I decided...even if i am a rebound... i'm 21... i've only been in one serious relationship... for ..2-3 years.. which ended not that long ago as well....similar scenario to her

 

my ex left me for another guy -.- her ex left her for another girl

 

...but.. does it seem ... she has feelings for me???..... or am I imagining it coz she's drop dead gorgeous???....

 

I wanna just ask her out.... but if it is just my imagination...it'll make things awkward at work -.-

[NJRon]

It will only make things awkward if you act awkwardly... ask her out if you want to. However, for myself, I tend to shy away from people I work with.

[pooh-bare]

Then go for it...........Ask her out! What have you got to lose?!

[Aishin86]

well... I been trying to come up with subtle ways to approach her about it... coz.. I don't really like taking things too quickly... --.--

 

I was thinking of asking her to the movies etc...something like that ...

but the other problem is.. -.- her mum is one of the managers in our department -.- euff hahaha.... they say nothing stands in the way of love but hahahaha...gawd... what to do??...i'm in a real dilemma .. coz u see.... she's serbian/croatian..... i'm a japanese/korean

 

But regardless of whether she does or doesn't have feelings for me... even a friend can ask someone to watch a movie...or have dinner together ... maybe have coffee...right?? hmmmm

 

waddya reckon????

[pooh-bare]

Start slow............ask her to have coffee with you.........be non-chalant about it......."wanna grab a cup of java with me?

[NJRon]

I would *really* avoid this situation... if her mom is one of the managers in your department, things could really turn ugly for you in the workplace if they turn sour. Given where you are both just coming from, it is a possibility. You are setting yourself up for pain when you should be setting yourself up for success.

[Aishin86]

sweet... sounds good

 

thanks guys

 

I'll keep u informed on what happens

[Aishin86]

aww jeez hahaha

now what to do hahaah

 

But do ya reckon she's got any feelings for me???....coz that's all I need to know at the moment hahahaha before I decide on anything

[NJRon]

I don't reckon anything. I don't tend to read into other's actions so much.

 

If that's all you need to know, then ask her. You pondering someone else's feelings will not help... only they can tell you what they are feeling.

 

You being wrapped up in trying to figure out what she is thinking/feeling, without asking for them, shows to me that you are not really in a place that you should be reaching out to this girl for any kind of relationship. Even if she *did* have feelings for you, the entire situation is not a good situation, unless you are willing to change jobs.

 

Take care of yourself.

[Aishin86]

ok .... hehe thanks for that

 

I really appreciate it

 

I'll keep u guys informed on what happens