is it supposed to hit you straight away?

[whitelilly]

I wrote a massive post before explaining what happened with my relationship and how it ended. But I now only have one thing that is still bugging me.

 

It's been five days, and it still hasn't hit me. It's almost like it hurts so bad that I am completely numb. The only noticeable difference now, is that I am not expecting him to come back. Before I was analysing everything, trying to find reasons that could mean he didn't want to do it. My friends have talked to him and it does sound like he still thinks he made the right choice.... even though he is very sad about it still.

 

Is this normal though? I always thought it would just hit me straight away. It doesn't feel real. It's like, I am not really missing him yet, because we would go 4 days without seeing each other sometimes.

 

I have been having lots of short crying bursts throughout the days, but I still feel like it hasn't hit me. I can't make sense of it all. It's like my head is this massive jumble of thoughts.

 

Does it take a few weeks to proplerly sink in? I want it to sink in so I can work on getting over this.

 

This is my first time in love.

[charmed]

Hi Whitelilly!!

 

I'm not qute sure what you are expecting to hit you - a massive dose of pain perhaps?

 

Stop waiting for anything is my advice !! You are not at th beginning of the next stage of your life - don't spend it overanalysing the last stage too much. SHort little crying bursts are about normal - for me anyways one large fit of crying and a few nights of the numbness and I started to move on from there. We all deal differently, but you should move on now. Stop thinking about how you should be hurting more and get yourself happy as soon as possible !!

 

~Charmed~

[whitelilly]

i guess because i know i haven't accepted it yet.

i just feel for me to move on, the reality of it all has to have hit me. and it really does not feel like it has.

 

i thought perhaps some other people had the experience where it came a little later.

[Baffler Meal]

It took about 4 days for it to hit me emotionally after my Gf left. I felt pamicked and talked about it constantly, but I didn't feel the loss specifically. I remember thinkning the same thing, "Isn't it odd that I am not more emotional about this?" Then I started not being able to get up in the morning, crying for hours every day, and constantly missing her.

She left July 2, and my worst day so far has been last Thursday.

 

I think the initial numbness is an evolved protection mechanism to help survive massive stress.-a buffer zone to allow you to get to a safe place.

 

Everything you experience will be normal. There is no correct way to go through it and no standard timetable.

 

Good luck.

[Unloved Bunny]

It took me about three weeks to really feel the pain it caused but then that was after a nine year relationship. It still hurts now and as has already been said, you go through it in your own way, no one way is correct or the norm, it'll happen as it's supposed to, go with it and it will get easier, it's starting to for me and I'm sure it will for you too.....

[VMAX]

i guess because i know i haven't accepted it yet.

I think you hit the nail on the head whitelilly. My wife left me soon after her dad, who she was very close to, died. I've been spending all my time blaming it on this event and thinking she's become mentally unbalanced. I know I won't be able to get anywhere with this until I accept the fact that she made the choice to leave.

 

Acceptance is the key...I hope!