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social anxiety


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does anybody have a mild form of this when actually approaching a person of the opposite gender?

 

lilke today i started talking to a cute girl at the laundromat while waiting for the clothes to wash an surprisingly we had no problem carrying conversation. it was like we had been friends for a while and the conversation just flowed naturally, silences weren't awkward etc. however once i was leaving i couldnt ask for the number since more people had showed up and i kinda shyed away. i could tell she enjoyed talking to me cause she smiled at me as i said my goodbye but i couldnt push myself to do anything cause of the people around.

but yea, wat are some things i can do to get over this? i found out the girl lives like around the corner from me so we may bump into each other again...

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Force yourself, that's how I got through all my oral assignments in school, getting the first word out is the hardest, but once you do the rest kind of follow. Or don't ask for it directly, ask like this:

 

"Hey, I enjoyed talking to you, do you want to go and --do something-- sometime?"

 

And logically, the exchanging of numbers should follow.

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Lol, sadly I've got anxiety when it comes to oh, I'd say--80% of people. Sometimes things click and I have no problem carrying on a conversation, and other times it's just weird and awkward.

 

Anyhoo, since I'm pretty much determined not to spend my life on the fringes of society, I took some advice I heard. It sounds kind of lame, but it helps to pretend to be confident and outgoing.

 

It takes some concentration but pretending to be the person you wish you were really does help. Just say and do all of the things you know you would do if you weren't shy.

 

Good luck with this--besides, you're already halfway there considering she conversed with you; believe me, the majority of girls don't waste their time if they're not interested.

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does anybody have a mild form of this when actually approaching a person of the opposite gender?

 

lilke today i started talking to a cute girl at the laundromat while waiting for the clothes to wash an surprisingly we had no problem carrying conversation. it was like we had been friends for a while and the conversation just flowed naturally, silences weren't awkward etc. however once i was leaving i couldnt ask for the number since more people had showed up and i kinda shyed away. i could tell she enjoyed talking to me cause she smiled at me as i said my goodbye but i couldnt push myself to do anything cause of the people around.

but yea, wat are some things i can do to get over this? i found out the girl lives like around the corner from me so we may bump into each other again...

 

You are no different then about 99% of population. Everyone has a certain amount of social anxiety and you can use it to your adventage believe or not. So what that there were more people around towards the end of your conversation. You seem like you have a good conversation skills but what is stopping you from closing the deal is the tought of others maybe thinking critically about you asking the girl for her number. But guess what? Most of the people there if they overheard you doing it they would probably be jealous that first of all they don't have this kind of slick skills and second of all it rarely happens to them.

In the end you are the one suffering so do not let other control your life. It's your life and what you do with it is your business and nobody can stop you from making your own decisions.

If, on the other hand, the girl rejects you despite a good initial impression then treat it as a good practice and learn from it. Contrary to a popular belief, rejection is a positive experience.

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thanks i was actually just thinking of what you said a couple days ago and that if i dont do anything it really is my fault. i think the reason that i got a little shy was because the only people there were women (other than me) and not bad looking ones too so if i did ask for a number, they would all be analyzing my approach hahaha. but thanks for the heads up

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