I want out

[Moore]

I want out of this life. I dont want to cry anymore. I dont want to hurt anymore. I just want out. Why is that so hard.

[CynicalGuitarist]

because part of you wants to stay...

[Moore]

No, I dont believe that. I believe that I'm too gutless.

[CynicalGuitarist]

Yeah, but suicide is not the answer. You would be better of elaborating on your situation and letting it out rather than solving your problems with a blade or gun.

[Moore]

Whats it matter what got me here. I'm here and reliving my pain is not something I want to do. I really want to do something else. I want out.

[RelaxByWater84]

I've been there ok. What are some things you like to do? Who is in your life right now that would be shattered if you did "get out?"

 

Two things kept me from doing myself in:

1.) God telling me not to because He something better for me.

2.) My parents would crushed if I did. It would be their downfall.

[kadvati79]

People's capacity to hurt is rivalled only in their capacity to heal, to grow. It is their ability to rise up, beyond their circumstance, to feel the world and react too it, that truly develops a human-being.

 

If you look at the great minds of this world, the wonderful poets, the true free thinkers, they often lived lives full of great pain. It has been said that one cannot be truly responsive to the world without being sadenned very often.

 

It may sound sad, but I often see my pain as a gift. If you ever get the chance to read any of my posts, you will see that I've often felt sad to the point I just wanted out. But the things that make me so sad in this life, the feelings, the thinking, while torturous - is actually the one thing that makes me damn good at what I do.

 

After my recent sadness and soul searching, I realised that this event was lifes way of preparing me for something much greater. Now I'm not a big believer in fate, or a specific god, or religion. But I have no doubt that the hurt and suffering I have walked through now is precisely the thing that is preparing me to be great and strong in the future.