Roomate/Moving Issues

[jas56]

Hi,

 

Not to long ago, I moved to another state after I finished college to sort of start my life. My goal was to get back into grad school, start my new job and get my own place. I have two out of those three goals accomplished (still workin on school). However, a few months later a family member of mine calls and tells me that they want to come out and do some schooling in the same area im in next year before summer. At first, I thought it would be a good idea to be roomates and unfortunately i think I said ok that might work way to soon. When they came out to visit, I realized that we are to alike and that I would rather just have my own place. There were also small things that annoyed me. Like they are messy and last minute on everything and im well not a neat freak but I just like things clean and on time. Now this person is very nice and I felt bad that I couldn't say this before they left but It looks like down the road Im just going to have to tell them how i feel about the living situation and Im not sure if Im doing the right thing. I just don't think it will work.

[Meow18]

So has this person moved in yet?

[jas56]

No they wont be here until next year maybe feb or march

[Meow18]

I think you need to talk to them sooner than later. Just be like "I'm really sorry but I don't think I can live with somebody else at this point, but I'll help you find somewhere else to live around here." You don't need to explain yourself. It's your place and you have a right to want to live on your own.

 

Don't wait til when they move in to let them know you don't want to live with them. That will just complicate things. At least now they have time to look for somewhere to live..

[jas56]

thats true, I plan to move by then, so i guess i can suggest the place im living in now. I guess its a little hard since they are family and they are so hellbent on coming to school here. I also think they really need the experience of moving, cause its like im making it way to easy. I had to do this on my own and i think they should too. ay yai yai.

[Meow18]

I know what you mean. I would find it really hard to have to turn down family as well.

 

Just be honest with them. That's all you can do really. They will appreciate your honesty and hopefully understand where you are coming from. I mean, you don't need to say "I can't live with you because you are so irresponsible." Just say "I would just rather live on my own because I like things done a certain way and I enjoy it."

 

The sooner you let them know, the better. You don't want them only having a few months to find a place to live when they get here. So, try to let them know within this month.

[jas56]

very true. Thank you so much for your time and advice. I think this would be best for the both of us.

[Meow18]

Yes, and think about it, it could be a lot worse! I mean, what if you didn't find out that you didn't want to live with them til after they moved in? Neither of you would be happy.

 

And it's still about 5 or 6 months from when they are moving out to where you are anyway, so they have plenty of time to find somewhere else!

[jas56]

I agree completely. I have alot to think about........yikes