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There oughta be a flippin' club!


need2bme
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I've had a heck of a time rebuilding my social circle since my ex left me over a month ago.

 

me too. i never thought i would realize that i have so few true friends after a breakup. it's like the breakup was not only a separation of me and my ex, but also me from an entire group of "friends."

 

even though i was the one who was wronged, everyone in my ex's circle basically sided with/continued to hang out with him, even if they had been better friends with me immediately before the breakup. i've barely heard from a single one of them since. some friends, right?

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I've had a heck of a time rebuilding my social circle since my ex left me over a month ago.

 

me too. i never thought i would realize that i have so few true friends after a breakup. it's like the breakup was not only a separation of me and my ex, but also me from an entire group of "friends."

 

even though i was the one who was wronged, everyone in my ex's circle basically sided with/continued to hang out with him, even if they had been better friends with me immediately before the breakup. i've barely heard from a single one of them since. some friends, right?

 

How interesting, I am feeling exactly the same way, that some of the mutual friends that my ex and I had have ended up siding with him a bit, even though I am the one who really got wronged and hurt at the end. Some of this is my own doing, of course, because I told them that my ex needed a little extra support since I could tell he was hurting so bad. But there is a side of me that also just wants to say to hell with them all. The ex can have the life and freedom that he thought he wanted, and he can have the friends too, and I will have a brand new life of my own, with friends that are true to me rather than fair weather friends.

 

This also makes me extra-appreciate the close friends I have who have remained close to me post-breakup. And there are the rare friends who can also be a friend to us both as individuals, who don't need to see me and my ex as a broken pair.

 

what really reallly gets me though, is that many of these friends are still good friends with my ex's BF#2...the guy waltzed into all of our lives around the same time, seduced everyone with food, wine, money, gifts, etc., got pulled into my circle of friends, participated materially in destroying my relationship (which I sincerely thought had some hope of being fixed before my ex started getting involved with him), and continues on his merry way and still does a lot of stuff with many of these friends. I dont know if he even realizes the extent of the damage he has caused, but he seems to get a free pass from everyone, and that bothers me a lot.

 

I can't wait to get this guy on a tennis court...he plays doubles with my ex, and I am scheduled to play them in my league next week. I can hit the ball very hard, and I will have maybe 500 chances to hit him.

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Donster~been reading your posts. You are well written~ I hope you are doing okay.

Going through the same thing with our (my ex and I)friends. Start over, and take the few good ones with you. Good luck with the

game in few weeks~I hope you win. I'll refrian from saying I hope you hit him with a nice hard serve or something...but..

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Hey Lonesoul, thanks for the nice words. My opponents will probably end up finding a substitute player, so I won't get a chance to vent my frustrations. oh well. I want to take the high road on all this anyways, but it did bring a smile to my face to imagine swatting a bunch of balls at them!

 

one thing I have learned so far is to really identify those few good friends, and to make sure I keep investing in these friendships with them. It's something that I allowed to lapse when i was in my relationship--I always put the friends second behind my ex (or third, since I put myself behind my ex too!) And relationships with friends, just like any other type of relationship, really do take a lot of time, energy, and investment. But the good ones will be tehre through thick and thin, even when the relationships are gone, they help you pick up the pieces!

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Lets see.

 

Charter members:

 

Need2bme

Bounder

Imperceptible

Javar

Joyce1412

Poetsheart

Donster

Lonesoul

 

 

Since all the exes do is pretend like they did nothing. How about calling the club (lets see if this one slips by ):

 

 

B70W ME!!!

 

OK, if I get slamed for this, I am apologizing in advance. ;-) I just cannot stand it when they act as if they can just be friends. I keep telling my ex, "get over yourself already!"

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