I cheated

[yeawutever]

But see, what if your b/f contacts an STD from you. Remember in every sexual contact, there's always the risk of catching a disease, so yea that's hard one.

If you're going with the choice of not telling him about it, make sure you get tested right away and only if you come clear, then keep it a secret and deal with the guilt. If not, then you would have no chose but to tell him and risk a break-up. Good luck with it and hopefully you learn from it.

[Hope75]

thanks annie I know everyone says this but i mean it it will never happen again

 

Hi Taylor,

 

I know that we sometimes here this line as a 'get out of jail' free card- but I really believe you and think that you recognize the severity of your mistake and are truly horrified that it happened and remorseful. I don't think you will let it happen again-- and Annie and others provided some great suggestions on how to make sure it does not.

 

Sometimes we need to fall that far down and have something that bad happen with us to realize that we need a wake up call... and that things need to change in our relationship. I hope you are thinking of ways to communicate and relate to your bf so that you both feel fulfilled in this relationship and the desire to stray does not hit you again. Have you any ideas on how to do that?

 

I do think it's important that you get tested for STI's, to make sure that you are not putting yourself or your bf at further risk. If you test positive, it is a MUST that you tell him what happened, at that point his sexual health is at risk, and he has a right to know so he can be tested also and seek treatment if need be.

 

I know it's discouraging to read so many strongly worded posts about what happened, and I hope you understand that cheating is a tough thing for people to accept and forgive, it can cause alot of hurt feelings and pain, and that is what provokes the posters to respond so passionately- so I hope you will not look badly upon anyone who felt strongly about it. We are all, after all is said and done, only human.

 

Good luck to you.

[locolady]

Thats a great post hope75 and it has made me want to apologise for the strength of my anger towards this thread. Cheating is an issue that affects so many people on here and as such means that people respond with an anger that is really directed at their ex partners!

 

there are so many people on here suffering from broken trust, and damaged self-esteem because a cheating partner robbed them of self-respect...it is something that takes a long time to recover from. It often seems that the cheater gets the easier deal and that i think is why i responded so angrily.

 

However, Taylor if you genuinely feel remorse and you can appreciate how damaging your actions are then i wish you all the best in trying to repair your relationship. If you do get to keep your man, please treasure him - treat him like a prince and be grateful that you very nearly lost it all.

 

There are lots of girls out there who would do anything to have someone love them and it seems unfair that other people have that and are prepared to chuck it all away for the sake of a selfish fling. Take on board the comments on here about working on communicating with your boyfriend, is there any way you can arrange to spend more time together? More quality time perhaps when you are both not tired or stressed from work? can you arrange a nice day out for the two of you? is part of the hectic schedules you mentioned taken up with sport or something? if so can you go to watch him more often? etc etc.

 

Appreciating what you have is the first step to not jepardising it again. Good luck.

[Hope75]

locolady,

 

That was very kind of you to come out and apologize to Taylor and to admit that some of your hurt was coming from your experience and was directed more at your ex.

 

I commend you for doing that- it's very impressive!

 

I too am a victim of cheating in the past and I know how awful it feels to be the victim of an affair....and if we can treat those who get mixed up in it with kindness, respect and understanding, maybe we can prevent future incidents from happening.

[matius]

Sorry if this has been said...but consider ending the relationship. You don't have to say what you've done.

 

Plus i know thats obvious...but this is what I would do in that situation.

[yeawutever]

Somehow cheating seems to be so overrated this year than previous years. So far I have been reading lots of posts on infidelity both here and on link removed, but oh well, I guess it happens. Like Hope_75 stated, we're just humans, not computers.

[mkmki]

I was cheated on 10 days ago. Exactly 10 days ago. I have not sleeped since then. I lie in bed and look in FAKING ROOF OR WHATEVER IT IS CALLED ON ENGLISH!!

 

But I forgave my ex, and after I said its OK, She (4 days ago) dumped me. Still I'm glad I know that I have been cheated on. I still love her, more than anytime in the past...

 

But, please Tylor if you read this (and chances are good that you will not) tell your boyfriend, he will be mad, he will be hurt, but if he trully loves you, he will stay with you. Oh, and don't dump him after he realize he wants to be with you even after this.

 

And try to spend more time with him if you tell him, he will need you more then anytime in his life... Believe me I know that now...

[craign]

Not judging you but uhhhh.IF you hide this from your bf you will never forgive yourself.You will spend the rest of your life trying to justify your behavior."he works to much,he never spent time with me,He never did what i wanted to do.I make mistakes i have made big ones,and i have paid for all of them.Something was obviosly wrong with your relationship so get out,you bypassed working through it.I have had this happen to me and its unfair.I hope you wasnt wanting me to say"hey its ok we all do it"Cant do it.Tell him and deal with his reaction good or bad.But be fair to him please.Its going to hurt him either way.It hurts more after finding out your girlfriend cheated on you and stayed with you there would be no trust.And you waist all of those extra years.

[locolady]

taylor - i had a chat with my ex the other day - he cheated on me after 4 years - he said somehting interesting that i think you should consider -

 

he said "how could i possibly marry someone i cheated on?"

 

Be honest with yourself.....could you go on to marry this guy? knowing what you have done?

 

I know i couldnt - just as i couldnt marry my ex now.....despite wanting that more than anything - it would never be quite right.