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i think i know the answer to my dilemma, but i just feel like venting. this is a followup to this thread i posted recently:

 

 

 

i was eating In N Out w/ my cousin yesterday and this girl i tried to ask out last week had called my cousin. in fact, she's called him 3 times since last Wed (he told me last nite). my cousin is pretty good at being very flirty and i could hear him talking to her on the phone. at one point, he asked her to say hi and put the phone next to my ear, where i just said a polite "hello?" before he removed the phone away. then after the conversation, he told me it was my ex-neighbor and that i should ask her out. i told him he should ask her out and he said she's not his type... i feel kinda embarrassed to tell him that i already did last week and i think either a) she wasn't interested, b) she prefers him. we live together right now at his condo and i should just tell him, but sometimes i feel ... this is so elementary school... but not as cool as him. he's travelled the world, does high-risk sports, drinks, goes to bars, pretty muscular, is a firefighter, total extrovert, very ambitious in his life. i'm like his polar opposite... total homebody, shy, quiet, skinny, passive (you get the point)... recently since i moved in last week, he's invited me to hangout w/ his friends, go out eating w/ him, go shopping (god, we spent $400+ this weekend each on new clothes). we grew up as little kids, but grew apart in high school/college. it was kind of cool to watch him in action picking up girls: just be witty and confident, works pretty well.

 

anyways, back to the point. i think this girl likes my cousin (i have no idea what they talk about), i think she's cute (though i know very, very little about her), my cousin thinks i should ask her out... this is like a twisted triangle and a) watching my cousin, i feel like i will be a complete failure if i ask her out (or anyone for that matter), b) i don't know if i want to get rejected by the same person twice (though everybody on the previous post and my best friend said i didn't get rejected), c) i remember waking up this morning at 3:45am (because my left knee was bothering me) but unable to sleep because i thought about this for like 30 minutes.

 

my chicken soup: i think i need to broaden my horizon w/ other girls + take more helpings of self-confidence + more accepting who i am + do more stuff

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