Foot in mouth at sort of new job

[Mr Mister1]

Well I'm back again and sadly more stressed. There's been all sorts of things going on but I'll start with this because it's getting at me.

 

First the background. This week was my first week back in an area after being on higher duties in another area for 8 months. When I started they decided to give me a really big job that needed to be done by Friday lunch time but which I initially knew nothing about and no one had the time to teach me anything (so I had to learn it all myself).

Just to make things a bit more challenging the job required certain access to certain databases which hadn't been arranged when I got there and took 3 days to get arranged, all the while the supervisors were telling me how the task HAD to be completed by Friday lunch time. So come Thursday when I could finally do the job and had taught myself what was required I went stright into it.

Okay final bit of preliminary information, I'm also a part time Post grad student which means I occasionally go off to lectures which up till now hasn't been a problem.

 

Okay well during Thursday I spent all my time busily trying to get this task done, at one stage during the day a female who had worked in the area decided she would "run me through it," and pretty much everything she told me I had already worked out for myself. There was then a section meeting. Once the meeting had finished it was coming near to 4pm which is when I have a tutorial but there was work I needed to e mail to the other person who was involved in with the job (who is working in another state). As I was busily trying to get stuff done so I could make it to my class. At around that point th e female decided to return near m y desk going "I'm waiting for you!!" to which I replied "sorry I'm busy at the moment." She then proceded in a loud voice to t he supervisor "OKAY I'M NOT HELPING HIM ANYMORE HE'S TOO BUSY!" Which is when I let out the inapropriate remark "well to be honest yo u haven't told m e anything I didn't already know!"

 

And here's where the stunned silence comes.

 

A few moments later when people had moved on the supervisor commented on how that wasn't th e best thing to say and I agreed and apologised.

 

I then went u p to her at her desk and to ld her I was sorry that I was out of order. She pretty much was like "sure whatever!"

 

After all that I ended up missing my class and stayed back at work until a bit after 10pm, returning at 7am the next day to finish the job, which got done on time at the cost of me missing a second class. There's more that I want to say in regards to all that but I'll save that for a later post.

 

The thing is I'm very much anoyed at myself for saying what I said because it's the sort of thing that I would have thought I'd have the self control to keep to myself. I'd like to think that it was very uncharateristic of me and that in almost any other situation I would have bit my tongue, but this time I didn't.

 

I'd also like to think that it would take a LOT to get me to that point behaving like that, which worries me a bit.

 

Okay that's my vent for now, I'll tell more about the story later. But for some background information about how I didn't exactly return on the best on terms read here.

 

[evyrew]

Hey, 'foot in mouth syndrome' happens to everyone. You were a bit stressed about work and school, and her "OKAY I'M NOT HELPING HIM ANYMORE HE'S TOO BUSY!" just set it off. She was being a bit antagonistic.

 

It's perfectly human to say things that we shouldn't. You have apologized for your actions. If she won't accept the apology, then it's on her. My advice is to learn from the mistake, and keep going. Don't let a small slip of the tongue get you down.

 

I've been reading a book called The Art of Talking to Anyone . It's been an interesting read so far. I highly recommend it for anyone who would like to brush up on their conversational skills, or (in my case) try to cure the infamous 'foot in mouth syndrome'.

[Mr Mister1]

Thanks evyrew! Actually the person in question has been known to be antagonistic and has set people off in the past. For example she once told this story about how her supervisor at the time told her to go and expleative herself. I then later heard from someone who works with both of them that while he might have said that it would have been after she was giving him an ugly attitude over and over. So I guess my outburst was very mild in comparison. To be honest I don't care if she's mad at me for it, I'm really just upset at myself for stooping to her level. The fact is what I said was true she wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know and in effect she was holding me back, clearly I didn't choose my words correctly.. then again how do you say that in a way that doesn't sound arrogant and inapropriate.

 

Anyhow you pointed how two of the things that set me off (third being that she wasn't a help regardless of her intentions), but the supervisor didn't seem to pick up on that. Which leads me to my next point.

 

I feel like I'm not really part of the section and that the supervisor isn't really bothered about me, my needs or even my feelings. When I got the work done on time and voiced concerns about missing lectures he really didn't sound like he cared too much. Also the problems really could have been avoided, they knew I was coming for about 2 months but didn't think to set things up for me until the day I was there which is effectivly

 

It's an odd situation I'm in, I'm waiting on the result of a promotion round that I went in at the end of my higher duties. I had an interview, they asked for a referees report from my supervisor in my previous area, (who gave me a very favorable reference), now I'm just waiting on the final result. If I am successful it's pretty much guaranteed that I will be moved to another area once again. So right now I don't know if I'll be staying in the area or going.

So I don't think they expect me to stay round so I don't think they really see me as anyone whom they need to be bothered about. When you're in your first week doing a new job and you end up having to work late into the night, long after everyone else has gone home, things really don't look right.

 

Right now there are two things that are worrying me. First of all, I honestly feel that it takes a LOT for me to have said what I said. I like to think that I can keep calm in a hostile situation and it has to be something major that'd set me off, and really a lot has happened lately, makes me worry if I'm going to get worse because my stress and anoyance at the situation certanly hasn't been resolved here.

 

The other thing that worries me is this isn't the first time that I've felt like I've been messed around and unfairly treated in the workplace, infact it's the third time. Makes me wonder, have I been having a bad run of having to work for managers who are either incompedant or nasty? Or is the problem actually with me?