Interesting testimonials and advice about NC

[gaiden]

I found this while researching things about narcissists. If you see N it means narcississt, NP is narcissistic personality, and NS means narcississt supply but for the most part, these ideas apply regardless of if you're dealing with one or not.. enjoy..

 

 

Excerpts taken from link removed

[lilac_indi]

that is a brilliant post - every word of that is soo true

[reality_writer]

I dunno......what about seeing NC from the person it was put in place upon?

by starting no contact, aren't you being naive in assuming things will never get fixed.....and aren't you yourself closing off your emotions and thinking you're letting go when you're closing the door and just keeping them locked up, and by thinking that if you don't see nor hear from this person you will never feel hurt again.....

 

If a person can truly face another and say "there will be no more contact" and actually carry it out, I think they are cold hearted. If you don't want to talk to someone obviously they are affecting you somehow, which means you care! By cutting all ties you are leaving everything unresolved.

[gaiden]

by starting no contact, aren't you being naive in assuming things will never get fixed.....

No contact isn't the tool for repairing relationships. It's the tool for repairing yourself. No contact is usually started because of two reasons: either #1 you DON'T want them back and/or #2 you understand now is a time for you to worry about you, not 'us' and certainly not them.

 

I dunno......what about seeing NC from the person it was put in place upon?

It's my opinion that when you decide to start NC, the time for empathy is over. If you are doing no contact, it's because you have finally decided that your efforts on reconcilliation would be better spent on healing and recovering from the recent loss.

 

It takes two people to form and continue a relationship but it only takes one to end it. If the other person isn't interested in being with you, why would you waste your time trying to convince them otherwise?

 

 

and aren't you yourself closing off your emotions and thinking you're letting go when you're closing the door and just keeping them locked up, and by thinking that if you don't see nor hear from this person you will never feel hurt again.....

When I go no contact, I am not bottling up my emotions at all. I'm giving them a chance to come out, burn out, and disappear. Having any contact with the ex would allow them to manipulate and drag out the healing. Seriously, time and absense are the key to moving on. Hense the whole out of sight, out of mind.

 

If a person can truly face another and say "there will be no more contact" and actually carry it out, I think they are cold hearted. If you don't want to talk to someone obviously they are affecting you somehow, which means you care!

If you have someone in your life that doesn't improve or enrich it in any way, they shouldn't be there. It doesn't mean you care or even that you are hateful, it means you see they more then likely are part of the problem, not the solution. So away with them.

 

By cutting all ties you are leaving everything unresolved.

I don't know about you, but I rarely ever 'resolve' anything with anyone that I am no longer with. Unresolved issues from previous relationships are just one of the hurdles we have to learn to overcome and deal with in life. Yea, life isn't fair. So I'll never know what really happened, that's fine. If you've been able to resolve all of your previous relationships, kudos, you're the exception, not the rule.

 

Read the first statement again from the post...

 

We want closure which is never going to come in a way that we want but we can find closure by No Contact. We want to be heard, want them to know the pain they've caused but they are never going to listen and if they do, they don't hear the words. What we often miss is the beauty of "No Contact." You are finally saying No More. It is your voice without the words but they hear it loud and clear as if you screamed from the top of your lungs - "Go to the Devil." No Contact is your pure and sweet rejection. It is empowering. It is your last word. It is your closure. It is one of the most hurtful narcissistic injuries you could inflict. They have finally come to understand you know just who and what they are. They know the tricks do not work anymore. They know you are no longer prey or a pawn in their game. It is your last word."