Are we going about NC the right way?

[mikeywins21]

So for those of you that are following my Threads I would like you to know that my ex has now put me back to #7 on her friends list on MySpace.

 

 

Quick Recap: Ok well my ex broke up with me, gave me the "We need to take a break" line, just too much going on in our lives and a 5 hour distance. One day I went on Myspace. I had gone from #1 on her friends list to #6. I was upset sure, but there were only her girlfrinds and her cousin in front of me so it's not like there was a new guy or anything. I waited a week or so and then finally I changed mine, why should I be at #6 and she get's to stay at 1??? I put her at #6 too, the next day I was off her list completely, I know this sounds childish and it is. But when your hurting you do stupid things. I guess it might of been that I had 4 girls ahead of her. All really good looking girls that have left me cute comments on my page.

 

 

I thought about it and figured it was stupid to play these games. I said forget this and just put her back up to #3 after my Hero James Gandolfini, and Beneveto Records. I also posted one of those surveys that everyone is doing and posting on MySpace. There was a question that I answerd that I know for a fact that she saw

 

47. What is one thing you've learned about your life recently?

- I'm happy with just being me, I can't change the past and I shouldn't be so worried about the future, I've learned that sometimes I want everything so fast and like right now, It tends to push people away if they don't want the same things. I've learned that I really need to become more patient, And I have been alot. I need to give people space when they ask for it. And most of all just take things one day at a time as someone once told me

 

 

 

So now that she's seen this, and put me back up to #7. Maybe it made her think, Maybe when I decided to do NC I should of told her. I'm not gonna contact you for a while, I still care about you alot and wish this wasn't happening but you need your space and I need to be alone and heal from this and take care of myself for a while. I didn't do that tho. I just read her e-mail saying she was sorry for what happened and left her alone. That was 9 days ago. So when you do NC would it be better to tell the person your doing this or just drop off the face of the earth one day???? I'm not reading into the fact that I'm back on her top friends list too much but at least I know she doesn't hate me.

[bobo85]

stop looking at her myspace and it shouldnt be a problem.

[NCTuskie]

I agree. Don't look at her profile. Too bad there isn't a way to show your ex that you're not looking at her profile, but as long as your signed on, all your ex can do is assume and speculate that you're looking at her profile.

 

Several years ago I had a run of bad luck with women I had met online (two of them local, and one long distance). All of them were back-to-back. I blamed the net, and cut myself off entirely for a month. No email, no chat, not even email related to work. After my month was up, I found myself less inclined to fall into my old habits. It's a unique form of NC, but I swear it works.

[mikeywins21]

Ok but not to get off the question at hand. What I am saying is this. Maybe the reason so many people on here never hear from there ex's after months and months of NC is b/c they just gave up one day and started NC. Didn't talk to there ex about it, didn't say anything like "I'm gonna give you your space, I'd love to be friends again someday, and maybe more but right now I just need to be on my own and I can't deal with being friends with you"

 

 

That's why I am asking, if you were to tell your ex that insted of just dropping off the face of the earth one day and not even letting them know why, then maybe they might come back to you when they were ready for a relationship.

 

Personaly if I was dating someone and had to break up with them for certin reasons and they just never talked to me again, I'd be like "Well I'm glad I broke up with them, obviously they didn't care about me enough to understand what I was going threw in my life and why I couldn't be with them right now or give them 100% of my heart"

[mikeywins21]

Then again I always try and work threw everything, so I wouldn't break up with someone just cuz things were not going as planned in my life at the time. But not everyone is that strong