Ugly? Stupid? WhY CAN'T I?

[pherbster]

What's wrong with me! I'm almost 17 and have never had a bf....EVER!

 

I've figured it can be one or both of two things: Either you have a frosty boaring personality or your ugly 90% of my inner circle are all guys. If they presumed I was annoying...etc.... they wouldn't hang out with me. When I go out with friends I'm usually the only girl. I'm not a tomboy...far from it...but I've always considered myself to be one of them, and vise versa. They've told me that I'm much more fun to be around than other girls....this includes their gf's.

The point is.....I just don't understand why I have soooooo much bad luck. I'm not fat, bottom barrel ugly......not stunningly georgous either. Sympathy driven friends have tried to help me out but nobody's ever interested. I've seen girls that are more unattractive and cloudly headed

than me get into relationships.....so why can't I?? Anyone else have this

problem????.......and what do guys look for.....pacifically. What things about a girls personality are the BIGGEST turn offs. help.

[crookster_man]

Well it sounds that you are getting a little desperate this is a huge turn off for both sexes. Why do you need a BF? Is there something wrong with who you are? Of course not, I understand that most of your friends have or had one, so it's only natural that you want one as well. Trust me you are still quite young, that could be part of it.

 

A Buddhist saying. "When you pursue the horse it runs away, when you wait patiently for it. It will return home"

 

Good things come to those who aren't looking for it. Sounds great an all eh? But it isn't helping you get a BF? Well I don't suggest you actively go out and search for one, it usually leads to disasters. However I can suggest a few things that will help you encounter more eligible guys.

 

First thing is to meet new people, sounds simple enough eh? Well you said it yourself your circle of friends all think your a great "Friend" chances are they all see you as a friend not a potential girl. Maybe not, but chances are. So you are going to want to meet some new guys who don't know you as that.

 

A good thing I suggest is join a new club or activity that will put in a place to meet new people. Whatever your interests maybe. If that is too much, then try changing up your schedule. As in instead of hanging out with friend A, B and C on Friday night and E, F, G on Saturday. Try reversing it. Sometimes people do different things on different days if you are stuck in a routine then you are always seeing the same people. Simply going out with friends on different days may help you meet their other friends.

 

Being desperate and constantly looking for it is bad for many reasons. First it makes you look bad. Next it attracts the wrong kind of guys and it will get you into situations where you feel pressured to do things to keep the guy around. Beware of this...

 

One last thing, who cares about what personality traits people aim for? You are who you are. Not that you can't challenge and change your negative traits, just that do you want to be a fake person and have someone date the fake you? Meaning you can never be your real self around your BF? I doubt that very much. Be yourself, increase the amount of people you meet and have a GOOD TIME. These things exude confidence and attractiveness which will land you a good guy soon enough.

 

I hope this helped.

[Smokeycat]

I've only been in one serious relationship, dated a few guys, and have now found someone new to connect with. I'm 17 and I've only really had one bf. I've had others but they're lucky they lasted a week with me. I find guys often are intimidated by me and they think they're out of my league...but they aren't. I'm not gorgeous but I'm not ugly. You have to radiate with beauty from the outside. No matter what situation you're in...be cheery. And maybe guys are turned off by all of the guy friends you have. Hang out with some girls so you seem single in public. That may help. Good luck!

[Rain533]

You don't want to lower you standerds on who you will date before you have ever dated a guy. Are you sure that one of your guy friends aren't interested in you? Very offten when guys hang out with girls, even if they didn't know they liked her at first they do in time. Is there a guy friend that you like more then a friend? If so hang out with him alone some time, he may tell you things that he has wanted to but couldn't cuz the guys where around. Don't just let friends set you up with guys that your not interested in, a bad relationship is NO better then no relationship at all. Look out side the group of friends that you are hanging out with, is there a guy that you think would be fun to hang out with. there is nothing wrong with asking a guy out. If he dose say no try not to take it to heart cuz there will be more of these before you find Mr. Right. If you don't take a chance then you will never know what you a missing out on.

[pherbster]

None of my guy friends are interested in me. Most of them already have g/f's......who by the way....are some of the stupidest chicks I have ever conversed with in my life!! But, they like 'em and the ones that don't always tell me about the girls they really DO like, and (because i'm a girl) ask my advice on the best way to score with them...get her to notice him....and dude she's got a nice ass....blah blah...blah They've told me sick things, detail by detail, I didn't even wanna know. Things i didn't even think guys would tell girls!

They discuss and do things with me I just can't picture anyone doing with someone they actually "liked".

There was only one guy friend I liked......he graduated, so I probley won't see him again anyways. Me and him were really good buddies, we hung out almost every day, I finally asked him, after that he didn't even want to be around me!! Every opportunity he got to avoid me he took. I was so sad. That's how it's always been.

I'm sick of it. I know i'm young and have plenty of time but for now......I hate being alone!

 

 

*****By the way....Thanks for responding.....the fact that someone can take their time out to help me makes me feel alot better.