Am I gay?

[Boughtandpaidfor]

So I couldn't write what I wanted to write because I was afraid of the response, so I wrote a poem and posted it here

 

 

 

But then I thought, it should be here too.

 

How can I explain myself to people!!!!?????

[Tigris]

I think your poem is great.

 

If you need to talk or just vent PM me. I know how difficult it is to decide what sexuality you are. It's taken me 30 years to admit I've been a lesbian in denial all my life.

[northernlights]

Your poem is beautiful and definitely addresses the troubles a lot of people questioning their sexuality go through.

 

"If you're lying awake at night wondering 'am I gay, am I gay?' the chances are that you're gay," as my GLBT peer advisor told me when I first went to her.

 

I think the question isn't "am I gay?" but "can I accept the fact that I'm gay, and can I deal with how society will treat me when I do?" as well as "what does labelling give me, if it won't change who I have feelings for?" I think when you start thinking more about those other questions, a few more answers might come to you, as well as a few more questions to ask next.

[fishrrshortae]

Maybe you are bisexual ?

[Boughtandpaidfor]

I have a girlfriend. I had one very stressful and messy relationship with a guy. I love my girlfriend and I love having sex with her.

 

But I'm attracted to men, and not being the most masculine guy, I've had people calling me gay since I was pretty young.

 

I wonder if ANYONE will allow me to be attracted to men, have a girlfriend and not be in denial. Because I feel like it's one or the other in society's eyes. And people think I'm avoiding the truth.

 

And maybe I am.

[NKP]

Go out with someone who you have feelings for if its a male go for it or if its a female go for it aswell, no one can say if you are gay or not only you know how you feel no one else

[novaseeker]

I have a girlfriend. I had one very stressful and messy relationship with a guy. I love my girlfriend and I love having sex with her.

 

But I'm attracted to men, and not being the most masculine guy, I've had people calling me gay since I was pretty young.

 

I wonder if ANYONE will allow me to be attracted to men, have a girlfriend and not be in denial. Because I feel like it's one or the other in society's eyes. And people think I'm avoiding the truth.

 

And maybe I am.

 

If you are attracted to your girlfriend sexually and enjoy the sex, you're likely not gay. If, in addition to being attracted to your GF and liking the sex with her, you are attracted to men, you may be bisexual ... only way to know that for sure would be to see how you feel in a relationship with another man, but since you are in a good relationship now, I wouldn't get all wound up about it.

 

Yes, society views it as one or the other, but it isn't. Bisexuality is a reality for many people, even though it's not widely accepted.

[FoxLocke]

Have you considered having an open relationship with your girlfriend? If you really care about her AND have feelings towards other men, maybe that is an option? You could be honest and say that every once in awhile you may need male companionship....If she is open to being in an open relationship, of course.

 

Playing Devil's Advocate, many gay men who partner with women report loving their wives and the sex, at first. Then it starts to become a chore as their real feelings manifest themselves.

If you ever feel your love life becoming routine and realizing more and more that you love men then chances are you are gay...

 

Or, you could be bisexual. There are many people out there who are equally attracted to both genders. It doesn't have to be one way or another...

 

You should explore your sexuality. If you choose to be with a man get with someone who is not like your ex male companion. That could explain why you would be afraid to indulge in another gay relationship...

I remember reading about your last journey into the gay experience, and the jerk that you dated.

 

Please remember that that is not the sum totality of being gay. Being gay isn't about leading a miserable and lonely life. Your life is what you make of it.

I read your poem and It was very heartfelt and sincere. I wish I could have given you a hug.

 

Just have the courage to believe in yourself and be yourself. It is scary when you come to the realization...But then fear gives way to acceptance, and acceptance leads to true fulfilling happiness.

 

It took me awhile being comfortable being gay. It is a process. Take your time. It is probably easier for me because I have never had bisexual tendencies. I've just always been attracted to other men. So I may not be able to advise a potentially bisexually or questioning man...

But I hope what I've written can help you in someway, shape, or form.

 

Furthermore, as it is, you shouldn't obsess over your sexuality whilst involved in a serious intimate relationship. Oneday at a time...Just be sure about EVERYTHING before you make a decision.

 

good luck.