bobo85 Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 i'll keep this short and simple. My ex-gf and i dated for 3 years. I'm 20 years old and she is 19. We broke up cuz she met another guy. 4 months later she contacts me via text message and via aol instant messenger. She says she wants to be friends. I've been doing NC this entire time. I do not want to get back together with her nor see us in any type of friendship in the future as of right now. Being around her will just remind me of what she put me through. Any advice out there? thanks, bobo Link to comment
Meow18 Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Stick to what you feel is good for you. You know that it wouldn't be good for you to start up contact with her again, so don't do it. Always trust your feelings when it comes to this kind of thing. I would just reply back with a "thanks for the offer, but I think it would just be better for me to not start a friendship at this point." And leave it at that. You don't need to explain yourself. Link to comment
friscodj Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I've been doing NC this entire time. I do not want to get back together with her nor see us in any type of friendship in the future as of right now. Being around her will just remind me of what she put me through. Any advice out there? You just answered your own question! Stay away man, you're doing good... Link to comment
PRSOV Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 I agree with the others and keep within your own piece of mind... Otherwise you risk losing what you have worked for, and that is your own happiness. Good luck. Link to comment
Cute Band Rat Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Do you think you would EVER be open to a friendship with her? I am asking because I also wanted to remain in my ex'es life even if just as a friend. I have never went 4 months of NC, yet but I hope one day he will want me in his life again. Link to comment
lifeiscash Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Yea I agree, trust your insticts and what you went through and remind yourself how it felt to be left long ago. You can always forgive a person but never forget the things that you went through and learned in life. Link to comment
bobo85 Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 Do you think you would EVER be open to a friendship with her? I am asking because I also wanted to remain in my ex'es life even if just as a friend. I have never went 4 months of NC, yet but I hope one day he will want me in his life again. what happened in your relationship w/ your ex? Seriously...why would you want to be friends with your ex? I bet if you really think long and hard..its because you really want to get back together. Its really hard to be friends with an ex. Because there is a history. You guys fell in love...stayed in love for a long time..then things didn't work out and one person didn't want to continue in the relationship and one heart is broken. So being friends with an ex is somewhat pointless. Anyways, I really don't know if i would ever be open to a friendship w/ my ex. We had a pretty bad breakup. (she left me for someone else). But right now i know i dont want to be friends with her. Link to comment
friscodj Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Do you think you would EVER be open to a friendship with her? I am asking because I also wanted to remain in my ex'es life even if just as a friend. I have never went 4 months of NC, yet but I hope one day he will want me in his life again. This is a situation I have learned to avoid, looking into the future like this. What this does is creates a situation where you are waiting for the friendship to happen, like looking at a Christmas present in July. You know there is treasure inside but the time just wears on your patience and you end up focusing on it too much! Like I tell people, to really heal, you have to make a lot of distance, away from the person and the situation, and then in the way future if it feels right maybe contact that person. At that time, when the feelings are gone and you sort of don't care anymore, face the decision of friendship then. Let go of it until then. Right now, this vision of a future friendship is comforting but ultimately is holding you back from breaking free, moving on, and healing. Focus on making the distance right now, not the friendship. It isn't a terrible thought, you can still keep the memories of someone in your heart... And you might be surprised. A year or so from now you may find your situation 180 degrees different and your desires have changed drastically... Link to comment
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