Concerned

[flame69]

Hi peoples,

 

Im interested in a young man who is 3 yrs younger then me, which i have no problem with. I'm 100% sure he is interested in me, there is just one major BUT, he is currently in a relationship with a lady 20 yrs his senior.

 

They have been together for 3 months and met through their place of employment. He never speaks about her and when anyone sees them in public they are miles apart.

 

He is not the hottest guy around and it's obivous he has a few self issues and myself and a bunch of our mutural friends feel he has just jumped at the first lady to show interest in him and that she is using him as she lonely and has no support.

 

I find him to be a beautiful person and i cant tell him what i think about his relationship because i dont want to hurt him or loss his friendship.

 

What can I do????

[OceanEyes]

Well, firstly ... do you think that this man could be interested in you? Has he expressed any interest in wanting more than friendship?

 

I wouldn't insult his relationship or his current partner. You will insult him as a result; his judgement, his preference, and probably his pride. Let's just say that I don't think it's a good idea to be openly passing judgement on another person's relationship. You'll probably seem jealous and catty to him.

 

If I was in your position, I would probably really want to see signs of interest from his end before I pursued anything. It's possible that they have a good relationship behind closed doors, so offering a negative opinion of that may turn him away from your friendship.

[demons-princess]

if its so bad then theyll break up and then youll have a chance to comfort him and go from there

[annie24]

welcome to eNotalone.

 

Shouldn't the issue be that he is already in a relationship, not that he is in a relationship with an older woman???? Would you make the move on him if he were in a relationship with a girl his own age?

 

If he's unhappy with her, he should break up with her, regardless of her age. And if he is happy, he should stay.

 

I don't advise getting involved with someone until they are completely single.

[flame69]

thanks to you all so far

 

in regards to knowing if he has feeling towards me, he has clearly stated that he is very interested in me, if he hadnt i wouldnt be worrying about getting some opinions on the matter at hand.

 

in regards to his girlfriends age, i would still make if he was with someone our age as he has expressed interest in me.

 

As for insulting him, our group of friends is very open on all matters and something that may seem insulting to others, we know where its coming from and understand each others views, so im not 100% sure i wouldnt insult him, but i would take due care if i was to talk to him about it.

 

anyway thanks so far

any other replys welcome please

[SarahRose]

How insulting to them both!

 

Do you really think that just because you are younger than her, you are better?

[annie24]

thanks to you all so far

 

in regards to knowing if he has feeling towards me, he has clearly stated that he is very interested in me, if he hadnt i wouldnt be worrying about getting some opinions on the matter at hand.

 

in regards to his girlfriends age, i would still make if he was with someone our age as he has expressed interest in me.

 

As for insulting him, our group of friends is very open on all matters and something that may seem insulting to others, we know where its coming from and understand each others views, so im not 100% sure i wouldnt insult him, but i would take due care if i was to talk to him about it.

 

anyway thanks so far

any other replys welcome please

 

if he is so interested in you, then he needs to break up with his gf and start dating you.

 

don't let him string you along. don't get invested in this man until he is free and single.

 

and if he gives you some lame excuse why he can't break up with his gf of 3 months, but he really likes you, ditch him fast!

 

If he likes you so much, he will leave her. If he doesn't, that shows he doesn't like you enough.

 

good luck

[flame69]

How insulting to them both!

 

Do you really think that just because you are younger than her, you are better?

I dont think im better then her,and i havent said that i am. All i know is that he has stated he is interested in me and thats my main concern that he is with someone (nothing to do with her age) and has expressed interest in me.

[flame69]

if he is so interested in you, then he needs to break up with his gf and start dating you.

 

don't let him string you along. don't get invested in this man until he is free and single.

 

and if he gives you some lame excuse why he can't break up with his gf of 3 months, but he really likes you, ditch him fast!

 

If he likes you so much, he will leave her. If he doesn't, that shows he doesn't like you enough.

 

good luck

thanks i dont intend on being anything more then friends until he knows what he wants,

thanks for the advice