How It's going

[Sobo]

ok, so since the last time I posted, she had called once, i didn't pick up, she called again and that time I did pick up. Since that phone call I have been thinking of being friends with her. So i ended up unblocking here on msn that night, i shut down my comp for the night, I booted it up in the morning, and saw that she left a message (the comp stays on a few mins after since I put it on standby, so it looks like im online) and she said hi, and later on that "she hates it when you don't talk to me" so flash forward a few days, and she said hi on msn, I told her that I wanted to talk with her about a few things, we agreed to meet up at a park near her place. We walked and talked,

 

Started off with small chit chat, how are things etc. then we kept going and got to us again, I told her that I do want to be friends with her, we both agreed fwb was a bad idea, but i told her that we can try and see how the friends thing works out, if it goes bad for me, we'll stop. She likes the idea b/c "when I want to call you I want to be able to, and not think no, you can't call him" She talked about work and how it sucks, but how they have lots of fun, and how now she plays videogames, which got a laf out of both of us, b/c she always said they were stupid when i use to play with my buddies,

 

basically what we got out of it is that were nto going to be together, I like seeing her, b/c then i look into her eyes and can see that its a good decision, that helps me with it. she said about the break up "I know I don't want to be with the person i am gonna be with the rest of my life right now" which is true on both sides, were young, and both obviously do not want to be tied down, she did sa however that she has nights where she's like "no one will ever love me like he did(me)"

 

Flash forward to last night(a few hours after this chat)

Im sleeping, my phone starts buzzing, its like 1230pm, its here, I answer and its her, she is crying etc. And wants to talk or sometihng i don't know, my phone cuts out, she calls me back, she tells me she is at a house party sorta, and is in a bed cuz her two other friends went to go get a mattress, eventually i cut it off, saying im going to bed.

 

She calls back like 5 minutes later saying sorry, etc. Then I hear her friends come in, and she is like i gotta go,

 

So i am thinking F you, you just call me when you need support, and then when your friends get in you let me go. She called later that night, I refused to pick up, she left a message saying sorry for calling and sorry for letting me go.

 

Then she called again this morning and we talked a bit, she said that she didn't leave the phone cuz she wanted but bchere firends were all telling her too, that her calling me wasn't making this easier on me, and that she was being selfish... I was like yeah it made me feel mad for you doing that, but I think that LC will be better for me regardless, I can always look at her eyes and know it was supposed to be like this, and that makes me feel better and makes things easier...

 

your thoughts?

[darklich14]

Glad you're seeing it how it is. Sometimes people want to just use you up and not really think what they can do for you... Stinks, huh? But just be strong. You sound like the one on top of things here, so don't use that against her. Just let her do what she needs to do before she's really ready to have a relationship. Almost sounds like she started playing video games as though she thought it would improve your relationship with her. But alas, it didn't! Hang in there, keep being strong bro.

[Sobo]

She called again yesterday, I was out with a friend of mine getting some food, she called again, I could tell she had been crying.,I told her I would call her back, I did eventually when I got home, it was really late but I thought, well she called me that late last night so why can't I? I did we talked a bit she says she is having a hard time, b/c she can't figure out why this happened, why she lost feeling for me, AND honestly, me being her "emotional crutch" makes me feel better, makes me feel like I am better off without her, she was always the one to break and call me first, always, and she is doing the same here, cracking first, it makes me feel good, especially since I have it in my head that this will never work out between us, I don't want it too, not even if she came up to me tommroow and said I made a mistake, I would just say, Im enjoying my life, and im sorry but I don't want that right now...

[darklich14]

Read my sig

[JohnnyTable]

What could you possibly get out of this friendship? Friendships shouldn't be this hard or cause emotional turmoil like this.

 

All of the calling stuff is BS. I would go strict NC for awhile and see how you feel after a few months. Then come back and read this post and hear yourself laugh in disbelief about how you felt

[Sobo]

What could you possibly get out of this friendship? Friendships shouldn't be this hard or cause emotional turmoil like this.

 

All of the calling stuff is BS. I would go strict NC for awhile and see how you feel after a few months. Then come back and read this post and hear yourself laugh in disbelief about how you felt

 

 

I think friendship is a good idea if I don't want her back, which I don't...

So why not?

 

I am meeting up with someone tonight that has gone through the same thing, her bf did the same thing my ex did, "fell out of love" and she is friends with him, when I talked to her it was right before she was going over to his place for a swim, so I figure she can help me out and we can talk about things,

[JohnnyTable]

To be honest, women have a much easier time of being "just friends" with a guy than the other way around. I would keep this in mind when talking to your female friend that is still buddies with her ex.

 

I'm not sure why this is exactly either. Perhaps it is because women know they can get guys at the drop of a hat. Seems like when women go from lovers to just friends, they want everything to be the same, only they don't have sex with you anymore and have sex with somebody else.

 

I would try to find a guy who is still friends with his ex and see how he feels about it.

[Sobo]

To be honest, women have a much easier time of being "just friends" with a guy than the other way around. I would keep this in mind when talking to your female friend that is still buddies with her ex.

 

I'm not sure why this is exactly either. Perhaps it is because women know they can get guys at the drop of a hat. Seems like when women go from lovers to just friends, they want everything to be the same, only they don't have sex with you anymore and have sex with somebody else.

 

I would try to find a guy who is still friends with his ex and see how he feels about it.

 

My point is that I don't want her back, most people go NC b.c in the back of their heads there is this idea of getting back together, I feel she made her choice, and that's it, I have made up my mind and it's not going to change. I am going to live my life, it's quite easy, you just picture yourself in 3-4 years doing what YOU thought you would be, not us, but only you, and how great you'll feel when it happenes!

 

I guess i'll talk to my female friend, I don't think it makes that much of a difference which sex they are, a very similar thing happened to us, we both had our ex' fall out of love with us, so I figure she knows somethings that would prob help me out, sure it does help that she's attractive, but i just want to talk with her, see what sort of stuff she has to say,