DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT HAVE IT, Ladies...

[ajaxajax]

I would often try to approach women normally and, many times, I get a cold shoulder from them - I mean not verbally but just giving me a feeling that I'm like a rotten, smelly piece of meat shown by, for example, sitting away from me when they're about to sit next to me. A friend of mine on the Net told me that the biggest reason for that is that women can see that a man has issues just by looking at him - they get a sense of it. And they just react to it. I do have issues, you can refer to my past posts. But, I might like to ask the women out there:

 

Is it true that you can spot a man with issues - and react negatively to him? And would you consider him more attractive if he pushes his issues aside or deals with them first?

 

Thanks

[Hannahleh]

Yeah, I can usually infer quite a bit about a guy just from looking at him. I don't really think it's 'issues' most girls react to badly, though... it's just negative vibes in general. Guys who don't smile, slouch way down, don't look anybody in the eye... girls usually react negatively to, or don't react to at all.

[Markers]

funny, I tend to reduce the risk of getting cold shoulder by electing a bit of who I'm gonna approach.. by looking at girls. I look for people who are my type, usually they tend to see me as "their type". For example, I'm not a huge party person so I'm not gonna go after the disco queen etc. I go for the sports girl or something..

 

of course I know nothing of what they really are like, I just look at them and get the feeling, pretty much as you described.

 

Of course I'm a guy and this is not what you asked for etc

[nicorette]

hmm, often when guys approach me there are many deal breakers about whether id talk to them or not. if a guy is smiling, seems confident, but not cocky, has an outgoing personality and i feel is my "type" ill talk to him.

if my first impression of the guy is i think that he will just want to have sex, and hes not sincere, i wont even give him a second look.

i was sitting at a bus stop a couple weeks ago wtih a friend. this car pulled up with 2 guys in it and htey wer elike hey baby an di was like eff off. if you at all approach any girls like this, im not surprised they give u the cold shoulder.

just be direct, sincere, and smiling. look for girls who are having a good time, dont approach girls who just seem depressed.

[BlueWolf]

Ah... of course.

Having an outgoing appearance can do wonders. I've got proof for that.

Although, frankly, I don't think it's just the girls who have this "sense" of if a guy has issues or not.

I think guys are equally good at figuring out which girls have problems.

It's not that hard - all in body language.

[ajaxajax]

I thank all who so far gave me their ideas. Problem is, when in front of girls, I do:

- smile;

- act sincere and friendly;

- not act cocky;

- dress clean and trendy;

- act confident and give eye contact etc.

 

And yet, I keep finding girls, while saying that I'm wonderful, likeable etc going out - and pretend that they're about to marry - guys who I feel are so disgusting should have their heads kicked in.

 

I guess it's also by me not asking girls out even for a cup of coffee. But, I feel not so confident when women give me these cold shoulders or say "um I already have a boyfriend". I might call myself bad at handling rejection.

 

I also don't know what to do if I go out with one chic and find a more compatible chic being by herself and then want to ask her out. I'd then be left with two options:

1. Stay with the first chic and fear that you'd be stuck with someone who you'd find to not be the best after all just because YOU'RE WITH HER - and watch chic B go out - and then falling for and marrying - some jerk because YOU'RE WITH CHIC A;

2. Ask the chic B out - and break the heart of chic A and find myself as a predator, stringer, playboy and scumbag by the entire female half of the world.

 

And guys, don't worry...you won't get bullets in your head by adding something here lol

[ShroomzGod]

Some of those girls who say they have a BF might actually have one and are just out with the girls.

 

If you have a problem with confidence then do some things to work on it ie: go to the gym, do something ur good at, hang out with people that make u feel important.

 

As for the thing about the Girl A and B, * * * * I don't know if A isn't worth it then by all means talk to B. Maybe try to distract A then talk to B or take A home and go back and talk to B. Either way it's shady, B might be there again one day and I'm sure A will be pissed.

[ajaxajax]

What about if girl A's good, but girl B you feel is better for you?