Why is it so hard to say Let's be friends???

[emma16]

I guess anyone can answer this it is not really just from amale stand point also a female stand point.

I have had a casual sexual relatioship with a man for a little over four months. After that long one is bound to have feeling for th other. I have them. I am not sure if he miss understands me but I told him that I think it is time to move on and that we should just be friends.

 

Well ever since then he acts strange with me will not even look at me when I talk. I also gave him the option when I told him that I was developing feeling for him that if he wanted to jsut be friends he should say it.

 

I can tell a guy that I just want to be friends if that's what I want. He for some reason can't come out and say let's be friends. I am not sure if he thinks by just being friends things will change and I won't stop in my his parents business or stay friends with his family.

 

He acts as if I hurt him in some way when I told him all this his body language twords me is completely different.

 

So basiclly why can't people just tell some one of the oposit sex they just want to be friends?? We were never dating in the first place..

[Tigris]

Maybe he just assumed that you'd moved on to dating? I think you need to talk to him and find out. Misunderstandings happen all the time if people don't communicate.

 

Good luck

[Ash]

I suspect in his mind he was dating, and he perhaps was hoping for something more long term, committed or permanent. Personally, I generate feeling quite quickly, and even after the first few days in a casual sexual relationship, I would start to become attached and be looking for and perhaps expecting a long term relationship with that person. Many people really can't do casual sexual relationships without getting hurt when they end, just as if they were a more emotional relationship. To him, it sounds like a breakup, at least he seems to be taking it that way.

[Vert]

Wow, I've been in this exact situatiob before....

 

A girl that I really liked in college was hanging out with me (almost exclusively) on a regular basis and we'd have what I called "pseudo dates" -- going out together to dance at a club, going rock wall climbing, her calling me randomly on weekend nights to have dinner at TGIF or whatever... All of my friends thought we were dating too, and when I finally asked her about it she got a bit defensive and said "I thought we were just friends". Truth of the matter is that she truly did like me a lot, but wasn't sure what to do (had just broken up with her ex right before she met me). It hurt just like a break-up at the time, and honestly most men will see this as a girl that is interested in him from the get-go. We men are like that -- being "just friends" is nearly impossible with a girl we like much less with a girl that's being extremely friendly and amorous with her time towards us.

[Alabama]

It's really hard for a guy to accept at times just being friends. There was this girl that I liked and that I knew just wanted to be friends. She had stated in class that she doens't date, but nonetheless, just when I was starting to becoming friends, asked her why I didn't. She started to act differently and it seemed would avoid me; perhaps I've ruined the situation, but if I have, then so be it. Feelings of infatuation can seem to last for a long time and when a girl says "let's just be friends", it's a punch in the gut for the guy. In time he might just accept it, but it will take time.

[Vert]

It's really hard for a guy to accept at times just being friends. There was this girl that I liked and that I knew just wanted to be friends. She had stated in class that she doens't date, but nonetheless, just when I was starting to becoming friends, asked her why I didn't. She started to act differently and it seemed would avoid me; perhaps I've ruined the situation, but if I have, then so be it. Feelings of infatuation can seem to last for a long time and when a girl says "let's just be friends", it's a punch in the gut for the guy. In time he might just accept it, but it will take time.

 

Very much the reason why most women love to have a gay guy pal to hangout with... It's like being out with a guy that is truly a friend to them and not interested in slaying the puss.

[RayF]

I can speak for a lot of guys I know and definatly for myself that "lets just be friends" is the worst thing a girl can say to a guy.

 

It's like saying, I know you're attracted to me, but I'm not attracted to you. But I want to keep you around because you're a decent human being and a nice guy. Also so I have the peace of mind of not rejecting you and you can feel like crap when I go out and date other guys.

 

Now ifthe guy has no feeling at all? it's possible for sure, but trust me thats rarely the case.

 

For me it's not worth it, why would i want to be friends with someone if it causes me pain. I have enough friends and personally I'd rather put my effort and time into someone who likes me just as much as I do them.

[Vert]

link removed

 

Perfect explanation...

[gesssho0o]

What happens if the girl were to change her mind and came around and said, "you know, I realized I do like you and want to date you.."...? Would you be too embittered to date her after she initially 'rejected' you? Or would you be able to put away your pride and date her?

[emma16]

I should clear this up I am the one that wanted something more I had feelings for him and he does not open up except one time he did tell me that he has not moved on from his ex which was three years agao already.

 

I care about him so much and I told him exactly how i feel i gave him the opportunity to say let's be just friends I threw it out their and he couldn't even tell me that now he doesn't even act the same around me anymore.

 

I mean maybe he didn't want anythign more and is afraid to tel me or maybe he jsut didn't like th idea that after like six months I wanted something a little more than casual