i feel like i could do better

[demons-princess]

i have a 10 year old cousin in north carolina and im in florida well her mother died and she never met her father...her mother had a 1/2 black 1/2 white son but his father died when he was 1 or 2 and my auntey (his mother) died 3 months later...well my problum is with Raven i dont get to see her much and she looks up to me so much i cant describe it in words...but now whenever we see each other i find myself very protective of her but i feel i cant help her with anything like she tells me kids at her school teaz her for not having a mother and i tell her i can do something but i know i cant help her i tell her to ignore them and she tells me that dosent work! i feel like im spossed to wach over her and her little brother in other words although im not her mother i feel if i was a guardian of hers or something i would ruin her life i dont feel i can do anything for her i feel totally usless in her life like theres no way ill ever be any use in her life...after my dog lj got hit by a car i freeze up whenever i see a car come just last time i saw her there was a kitty in the road and she was calling it just then a car went by and i froze up i couldent do anything see ing that car so close to her terrafied me i was to cowerdly to do anything and what if it did hit her!?what would i have done i dont think my aunt would ever forgive me or neither would raven...!i feel like im of no use to her and the more i think about it the more upset i get!ive sent her letters and emails but she hasent responded to any of them! i feel totally useless to her like if i were to die her life would be the same!This is relly relly upsetting me what am i spossed to do...ALL I CAN DO IS TALK TO HER I CANT RELLY HELP HER OUT WITH ANYTHING!!! i feel like i could do so much more 4 her but i cant...im losing my mind over this!!!shes my baby girl my what am i spossed to do if something happens that i could have helped but she gets hurt couse im not good nuff to help her!!!

[alteer]

I'm a little cofused by your post. Who does your cousin live with?

 

You have an awful lot on your mind for a 14 yr old. Why do you feel so responsible for your cousin? It's nice that you do but you are so young yourself.

[coollady1957]

I was a little confused or lost as well, while reading your post. It seemed a little broken and choppy and was just a bit too confusing to comprehend the big picture.

 

I agree you certainly seem to have alot on your mind to be so young. Wish I knew what to tell you at this point but I don't.

 

My Edit IS: ( and off topic, sorry )

I have read most of your other threads here as well, and I wanted to tell you something kinda funny. Everytime I see your avatar on your threads, it reminds me of a spider. I have this horrible fear of spiders and anything that remotely resembles the image of them. So when I click to view your threads I always get that initial phobia shock seeing your avatar, even though its not a spider.

[demons-princess]

I was a little confused or lost as well, while reading your post. It seemed a little broken and choppy and was just a bit too confusing to comprehend the big picture.

 

I agree you certainly seem to have alot on your mind to be so young. Wish I knew what to tell you at this point but I don't.

 

My Edit IS: ( and off topic, sorry )

I have read most of your other threads here as well, and I wanted to tell you something kinda funny. Everytime I see your avatar on your threads, it reminds me of a spider. I have this horrible fear of spiders and anything that remotely resembles the image of them. So when I click to view your threads I always get that initial phobia shock seeing your avatar, even though its not a spider.

well...i guess i can change my avatar then...but lets see if i can explain this better my little cousin relly looks up to me and her step father was killed and she never met her real father...she has a mix little brother and her mother died after her wife was killed and i feel responsible 4 raven now!but i dont feel like im doing NYTHING RIGHT FOR HER AND I SHOULD LEAVE HER LIFE