feel so guilty, for no reason?

[ryan1987]

hey people. i am a dumpee of 1n a haf months,was together for 1 yr n a haf, anyways

i am just back from a night out in town, where i kissed another girl, i feel like i have betreyed my ex fo some dumb reason. is this normal? have i ruined my chances of getting back together

[nicorette]

you have absolutely not ruined your chances of getting back together. you are broken up! you can do what you want and so can she.

i am not in the same situation, but i could imagine me having that feeling that i betrayed my ex. im not sure what to say about that, just that i know i would feel the same way, and you are definetly not betraying her. she broke up with you! it was her choice!

[Phoenix69]

I did the same thing when I first broke up with my boyfriend. When we got back together he asked me what I had been doing while we were apart (I think he was implying more along the lines of "who" I had done while we were apart!)

 

I politely told him that he dumped me, and I was single and could've done what I liked and it would be none of his business. I did hook up with a guy, but I chose NOT to tell my ex about it when we got back together. It would do more harm than good to tell him about something that woul upset him and cause him to feel jealous. Its better to not say anything. Considering I was dumped by him, Even though I did feel guilty, I forgave myself and moved on. It's the only thing to do...

 

Good luck and keep us posted

[007]

Keeping secrets is NOT the correct and "right" thing to do...sorry.

 

What does that do? Nothing except build or re-establish a relationship on lies and deception. If your partner can't accept the truth, understand, and move forward with you, then they just aren't worth the time and effort.

[mikeca]

i'd like to think of it as you were both single again just like when you first met..did you care who she/he kissed then?

[007]

Yeah, exactly...it's a new beginning, and it should be treated as such.

[ryan1987]

i guess i just feel like all my chances of reconciling have been destroyed. i found out yesterday that she has put more pictures of me up in her room, which is confusing. her sister told me on msn n its just left me baffled, anyways i dont feel like i have done anything wrong, i just feel like i have ruined things

[007]

Nah, dawg...You see, right now you're single. If she can't see that if you guys are to get back...then she's not mature enough.

 

Take some time to relax and not worry, little homie. You'll be alright...just try and breathe free today/tonight, you know?

[ryan1987]

thanks partner, anymore responses?

[007]

Nothing yet...just give yourself some credit, man. Just relax, and know that you did nothing wrong at all...you didn't cheat, and you're single out there doing single things.

 

Keep your head up, homie.

[joyce1412]

i can sort of relate. i got a surprise kiss two days after my breakup!...it was unwanted on my part, mind you. it hit me really hard for a few hours because i'm loyal to a fault...even though my ex dumped me, my heart was still with him, and it felt weird to be intimate in any way with another guy so soon.

 

it's natural to feel like this. HOWEVER, it is NOT logical. you were dumped, and as a consequence, you owe your ex nothing but civility and general respect. you're single. and besides, it's only a kiss, right?

 

remember...if your ex really cared about you kissing other girls, she wouldn't have given you up in the first place, would she?