What does he mean?...

[musicchicus]

So, he broke up with me a couple of weeks ago. I didn't call or contact him. Then this past week, he got in touch again.

 

We talked and he first said we were not compatible and that we shouldn't be together. Then, he said that during our relationship, I was too in love with him and pressured him too much. I agreed and said, sure if you want me to go away forever, fine I'll do that...and he responded with, "well I'm here, aren't I?"

 

So, I took that as a good sign and suggested that we try to be friends. He resisted this as he believes it is impossible for us to be as I love him. I did not deny my feelings, but told him that I had been hurt enough that we could try starting over. If we build a friendship, then great, if not at least we tried. And, if we ended up being friends and something more came out of it, great. But if not, that was OK too.

 

He agreed by saying that we would see each other every week at our regular hang-out. I responsed by saying that he would never really get a chance to get to know me as a friend that way, he needed to see me outside of the club too. He said - I don't want to be so serious, I can't be right now. I agreed.

 

So...we chatted a while more and then...he gives me a big hug and says, "I love you mor than you'll ever know"..

 

OK - what the hell is going on?

 

Does he really love me, or just as a friend?

Does he really want to be with me and is just afraid/unwilling to be serious? Or does he really just want to be acquaintances?

 

He has yet to call...is there any hope? Should I pull out all the stops, dressing in skirts and such, will this help to remind him why he wanted me in the first place? What about talking with other guys to make him jealous, good or bad idea?

 

Any help...

[tell_my_friends_im_dead]

Tough situation ...

 

Perhaps he has commitment issues? In which case you may never win this battle, and even friendship might be a hard thing for him.

 

About the "love" part ... He wouldnt say he loved you if he didnt feel that way, but the question is ... is he IN love with you? I have female friends that I love and want to be their friend, but have a hard time finding the proper time to be "friends" after the relationship ends.

 

It's not an easy path to follow, but keep trying. I agree with the way you are handling the situation, but in the end all you can do is wait to see how he responds to your attempts to be his friend.

 

Unless he is having a problem deciding whether to go back out with you, then wearing the sexy skirts and flirting with other guys won't even matter. And if he IS having a hard time deciding to be with you again, then maybe forcing his hand in that way isnt good either? Cuz maybe you're just giving him a "temporary" reason to want to be back with you?

 

Just be yourself. Guys can be slow in making decisions, but eventually he will decide what he wants.

 

Bobby

[musikal]

Ok, it sounds like he has a commitment problem, because he felt like you were getting close. But...

 

He obviously loves you. You don't just say, "I love you more than you'll ever know" to all your ex's. He obviously still cares about you.

 

So it sounds like there maybe another factor (perhaps someone else), or maybe he secretly works for the CIA or something...no, really, whatever the problem is, he sounds confused, but he's not ready to let go of you yet (otherwise he wouldn't have called).

 

I'd say, just hang loose and be yourself when you're around him. If you didn't used to wear skirts when you went out, don't start now. i.e. don't change--otherwise it'll look like you're trying too hard. And don't make yourself too available to him--but I'm not telling you to play games, I'm telling you to have your own life--and enjoy it! Being single can be fun... And keep your eyes peeled for other guys...who knows, maybe he'll see that and realize what he's lost--or maybe you'll find someone who is an even better fit for you, is ready for a relationship, and likes you just the way you are.

 

I think the hardest thing to realize is that there's life after you break up with someone. I know that was my stumbling block when I was younger (not that I'm that old now, mind you). But if you not only accept, but also embrace this time on your own, you might realize that you're better off. Life has a way of making sure that things work out eventually.

 

I hope it does, for you.