struggling with feelings for my friend

[uongy]

hey there guys happy easter.i have an isse with a friend atm.

 

basically,im a first yr at uni and i have met some great ppl,but one sticks out...a ladyfriend from the same town as i.

 

basically i really fancied her to begin with and wanted to get with her....we had kissed and stuff but we never ended up going out as she thought of me as a cool friend rather than bf material.

 

as soon as i realised this,i just thought forget it,be her friend and it will work out fine.ive just been her friend and we have got on really well.she appears to like my company anyway.

 

but i just cant shake off these feelings.i think about her alot...even dream of having her in my arms and stuff like that.sad isnt it??

 

i really adore her but i just dont see us getting together.....i dunno what to do.

 

what ya think?

[hazlcha]

.i have an isse with a friend atm.

Golly, I don't know what those initials mean. At first, I thought you were having a relationship with a bank machine. So I started to get jealous ... LOL.

 

I think it's interesting that you've kissed. Was that before you became friends, and were trying out a bf/gf relationship? Or was that after you were already friends and it was just a "sister/brother" kind of kiss?

 

Whatever it was may give you some information on what she's thinking. If it was a trying-this-out kiss, she was open to a relationship. Now things cooled, but that doesn't rule out the future. Maybe you should add some "spice" to your friendship. Do you flirt with her? Tease her and make her laugh? Sometimes by making jokes about "how much you (she) love me," you both get to thinking.

 

I think your attitude of going with the friend thing and not professing your undying love or whatever is the the best way to be. Can you add some spice to it and be open to whatever happens or doesn't happen?

[uongy]

yeah we do flirt and i tease her all the time lol.and i do make her laugh...well we make each other laugh.i love spending time with her.

 

the kisses....well we were normally quite drunk at time...but not normally that drunk...just enough to get shot of our nerves and inhibitions.she does like me but not enough to be my bf.....thats my impression.

 

i just dont know what to do about.i mean im fine with us being friends.....just my feelings are getting stronger and im having problems dealing with them.

 

PS atm means at the moment.just so u know lol.

[hazlcha]

at the moment. Thanks.

 

Well, there may be more there than meets the eye. You probably should go with your intuition. It's never good to get stuck on someone before they get stuck on you. If you can make some other acquaintances so that you have options, that's always worked for me. I never feel bad if one doesn't work out, because I'm confident that another will. And if the first one comes around, great.

 

Whatever you choose, it seems that it's largely your inner game that needs encouragement. Keep up that flirting, though. I find that girls are much more into a relationship that they believe is their idea. If you treat her like a bratty little sister and have fun with her, but carefully let her know that you have options, she may feel a possible loss. A friend of mine had this same situation. The girl played cool with him until she realized he had emotionally moved on. Then she chased him.

 

I wouldn't say move on SO she should chase you. Just do it for your inner game and whatever happens happens. Hope this helps.