Trying to let me down easy or not interested?

[sharp86]

okay we'll I've been trying to move things along with a girl whom I think about more than you can imagine, and I had a interesting convo with her today, where I kinda made my intentions known but im not sure how to interpret what she said.

 

I basically said that I knew someone had a thing for her, but he was prolly waiting to see if she was interested in him before he made his move. This being me of course, but I'm pretty sure she assumed that. She then made a comment that she is kinda seeing someone, not a bf, and that she doesn't want to rush into anything though because she just got out of a long relationship.

 

We talk all the time, and I had thought she was interested in me, but maybe I Was wrong. Does this sound like she was tryign to let me down easy, or maybe she just isnt ready for a relationship yet.

[SilverManic]

it means what she said.. she doesn't want a relationship right now and she is seeing someone else. Which contridicts what she said in the first place because she's seeing someone. This girl sounds confusing. I personally think it's a waist of time. If you like her that much get to know her and tell her when you feel the time is right?

~S.

[sharp86]

Thats the thing, I flirt with her all the time and she reacts. We talked for 3 hours the other night, where we repeated flirted and stuff, and she reacted in a good way. The convo I just had was over msn too, not in person. I figured she knew I had a thing for her, maybe she does, but im not sure if she was just saying she was seeing someone because she doesnt want a relationship now, or maybe she was trying to let me down easy and didnt wanna hurt my feelings.

 

I just hope I haven't * * * *ed it all up my saying what I said.

 

So I've either been Friendzoned, She likes me but doesnt wanna rush into anything, or she likes me enough to wanna let me down easy. Im wracking my brain trying to figure it out. The thing is, we work together, so I see her everyday too.

[hosswhispra]

I don't know if this girl knows that you like her. She may have a boyfriend or she may have said she has a boyfriend to put "the other" guy off her tail. Maybe if she knew it was you--not "the other" guy she may change her answer. Follow your heart while proceeding with caution.

[sharp86]

We'll she said a couple days ago she didnt have a BF when herself and me where on a break at work. I basically said that maybe the guy should make his move but it would be even worse if he got rejected cause they work together. then she made the comment that yeah, and im kinda seeing someone right now but its not really a boyfriend. I told her thats good, she should go for it if he makes her happy, And then she told me she doesnt really wanna rush into anything either.

 

Suffice to say im very confused lol I feel like a retard posting on here, but I've gotta let it be known somewhere or else ill go nuts lol

[hosswhispra]

It's hard to say what is going on in this girl's mind right now. She may or may not have a clue that you like her. What does your gut instinct tell you?

[sharp86]

My gut is split. I either think that she likes me but as she said maybe doesnt want to rush into a relationship right now, or make she likes me as a friend and isn't interested in a relationship. I'd be so much happier if I knew either way. Like she acts differently around me at work, at least I think, and theres lots of eye contact and good body language. I flirt with her alot too but maybe im reading to much into it and she just wants to be friends. But it also seems like she could not be interested in me, and just wants to let me down easy.

[sharp86]

I work with her tomorrow, so I guess itll be a telling day too see how see reacts to me. If she acts distant and seems to avoid me, I guess ill have my answer.

[Dating Coach]

I had a interesting convo with her today, where I kinda made my intentions known

 

Saying something obscure like that isn't "making your intentions known". Making your intentions known would be saying, "Hey, you seem like a fun person, I'd like to take you out for dinner Thursday night. I know a great place!" What you did was "hint" in some odd way hoping she would pick up on it and give you a sign. That lacks confidence, and will only work against you in attracting this girl.

 

I basically said that I knew someone had a thing for her, but he was prolly waiting to see if she was interested in him before he made his move. This being me of course, but I'm pretty sure she assumed that.

 

If she assumed that, she is probably thinking, "Geez, if you like me why can't you just come out and say it."

 

She then made a comment that she is kinda seeing someone, not a bf, and that she doesn't want to rush into anything though because she just got out of a long relationship.

 

Would someone who was interested in you say this? I don't think so. She's basically telling you she is off the market. You should have come back and "jokingly-but seriously" said, "Well you should drop that boring loser and come have fun with me. I'm going to __________ on Wednesday, why don't you come along?" Or some kind of witty comeback to that, that let her know that you are interested.

 

We talk all the time, and I had thought she was interested in me, but maybe I Was wrong.

 

Why haven't you asked her out already? Talking all of the time like you are best pals leads to the friendzone. Bad move here. Get on the ball and quit fartin around!

 

Does this sound like she was tryign to let me down easy, or maybe she just isnt ready for a relationship yet.

 

Sounds to me like she was simply telling you that she is not available. That is NOT a good sign. If she was really interested in you, would she want to discourage you? No. She's not that interested in you.

 

Thats the thing, I flirt with her all the time and she reacts. We talked for 3 hours the other night, where we repeated flirted and stuff, and she reacted in a good way.

 

This is not a confusing signal. Girls flirt ALL OF THE TIME with their "safe" guy friends. Talking to her for 3 hours (on the phone?) is another sign you are "just friends". She reacted like she was having fun, which maybe she was, but friends are fun, otherwise they wouldn't be friends right? Plus, you are giving her free male attention. Why wouldn't she want this? It's fun! Does this give ANY signs of sexual chemistry or romantic interest? No way.

 

 

The convo I just had was over msn too, not in person.

 

Oh, more non-face to face talk. MSN, Phone, E-mail=ALL BAD. These are "friend activities". If you want to build a chemistry with a lady, talk to her face to face. That is by far the best way. This impersonal method of contact is weak and does little to build chemistry, and certainly no where near what face-to-face would do. Cut this crud out.

 

I figured she knew I had a thing for her, maybe she does, but im not sure if she was just saying she was seeing someone because she doesnt want a relationship now, or maybe she was trying to let me down easy and didnt wanna hurt my feelings.

 

If she was approached by a a sexy Jonny Depp looking guy, who was charming and exciting, do you think that she would be "not ready for a relationship"? Yeah right, she would be all over it. If she is telling you this, it is to discourage you from asking her out.

 

I just hope I haven't * * * *ed it all up my saying what I said.

 

Not by just what you said, what you did. You moved in on her from a "friend" angle, and chatted with her over the phone and instant messaging just like a friend would. You don't have enough courage to ask her out like you want, you've been hinting, and that shows a lack of confidence. All of these things are working against you.

 

So I've either been Friendzoned, She likes me but doesnt wanna rush into anything, or she likes me enough to wanna let me down easy. Im wracking my brain trying to figure it out. The thing is, we work together, so I see her everyday too.

 

Let me spare you some trouble. She's not interested. She would never have done any of these things if she was interested in you, especially by being discouraging.

 

Next time you meet a girl, and you find her interesting, ask her out or for her home phone number within 3 meetings of that person. If you call her, don't chat like old friends, use the phone or messenger to SET UP THE DATE and that's it, get off the phone. Get to know them in person. Build the chemistry between you. Be funny, flirty, and have a good time. Tease her, give her trouble, but don't be a jerk. Most of all, be confident and don't act scared to pursue your goals. If you want to ask a girl out, then do it.

[heythere1234]

well she said she was seeing someone, but then disqualified it by saying it wasn't that serious. so, i guess I'd be confused too. You might need to confront the issue directly and ask her if she might like to go on a date sometime. If she doesn't just don't act all bitter and jerk-like about it, you know what I mean, it's not her fault if she doesn't dig you that way.