Zoe10 Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 As shameful and embarrassing as it is I have to admit I cant seem to control my jealousy. I'm so worried about my boyfriend leaving me, yet I continue to express my hurt towards him glancing at others. I must be damn stupid not to understand that checking out other girls doesn't mean he will leave me. It making me so depressed, and I worry about it a lot. Any other lady's (or guys) experiencing these similar feelings? And if so, how do you help to control your jealousy? zoe Link to comment
Zoe10 Posted July 24, 2003 Author Share Posted July 24, 2003 I am in counselling already. In the last few years I was in a abusive circumstance, hence my intense fear and angst of betrayal and deception. Its a struggle for me to fully rely and trust someone. thanks for the reply. Link to comment
Zoe10 Posted July 24, 2003 Author Share Posted July 24, 2003 Thanks for another quick reply. We do love each other very much, its just very hard for me to overcome my insecurities. Im hoping that it will work out, and yes I try and reward him for his affection. Unfortunatley Ive come out with a lot of negative thinking and fear because of my circumstances. Thank you for understanding, and thanks for the posts. Take care zoe Link to comment
Alien777 Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 Hi Zoe I believe that you are having some difficulty with trust and jealously issues. I have gone through similar problems with an ex-girlfriend of mine who was extremely possesive and insecure. If we went out to a club together she would say things like who are you staring at or why arent you talking to me, etc. One night I saw a friend of mine (girl from college) who I had not seen in 4 years and all I did was give her a hug. Boy was my girlfriend upset...she honestly thought there was something going on between us. The point that I am trying to make here it that you need to question the way you react to certain situations. Do not automatically assume that people are against you or do not read too much into a situation. I think it might also be the job of your b/f to console you and help you to realise that he is not going to cheat on you. Yes he has eyes like everyone else and has no control over what he sees in front of him. So try to take it easy and just relax - your b/f would not be going out with you if you were not special... Hope this helps 0X Link to comment
tkdmask Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 You are what you think. You are what you go for. You are what you do. Just hold your head up high, and take a good look at what you are doing. Tell youself that if what you are doing is right. others look up to you believe it or not. Just dont let your jelously get the best of you Link to comment
Chillyfrog Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 I am going threw the same exact thing, I cant trust my boyfriend and I am soooo jealous of other girls wehn i see him look i get so pissed, did he ever give you a reason to feel this way.. I stare at guys too in front of him so he dosent think its okay. I need to get over it maybe consuling i dunno if you wanna talk you can im me on aol...maybe we can help eachother get threw it ---my aol im=blissfulbeauty2 thanks, leeann Link to comment
sabena Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 OMG! You have to stop! You have to!...My boyfriend has just left me because I was jealous and he couldnt take it and I am devastated beyond belief. Read Paul Hauck's book overcoming jealousy NOW! Because if I had read this 6 months ago I would still be with him and enjoying our time instead I am sitting here crying non stop, unable to eat, sleep or work... you have to work at this or you will end up lonely like me. I am sorry to be harsh but its happening to me now so I can tell you from experience that it is horrible! Link to comment
netman Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 I read that same book and it helped me out tremendously. I hope you take the time to pick it up and read it cover to cover. I wouldn't say I'm cured, but it really helped me to the point that I can let things go much easier now and I could say that my relationship is soooo much better now. Good luck!! Link to comment
Zoe10 Posted July 25, 2003 Author Share Posted July 25, 2003 thank you for all the advice... im seeking help about trust issues and so on. I have been in counselling for 11 mths. My jealousy really stems from a lot of hurt Ive had in the past. It is unfortunate that I am unable to separate my past from my present. I am trying very hard, and (I think) I am slowly progresssing. I am so afraid of being hurt, it seems to overtake my life at times. But I will get through it. Im sorry to hear that other people are dealing with the same thing. If I think of something to help myself, I will pass it on to others who are consumed by jealousy and insecurity. Chillyfrog: it is comforting to know Im not the only who has trouble with these issues. Hopefully we can help ech other. Keep you posted. Link to comment
WeeScotsLass Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 Hi Zoe, Just wanted to say that you're not alone. I read your post and felt like I could relate to what you were saying. I too was in an abusive relationship and it was during this relationship that my parents split up after 29 years of marriage because my father was having an affair with a friend of my mums. Before all that I trusted everybody and anybody, including my ex, despite his treatment of me. I am now in a new relationship, we've been together for just over a year now, and I am experiencing emotions i.e. the green eyed monster, that I have never experienced before. It's difficult to know how to handle these feelings when they arise cos sometimes they just hit you from out of nowhere. I too am in counselling and it is difficult at times, but I am really hoping that I can learn to begin trusting again and banish these horrible jealous feelings. Please feel free to get in touch with me via e-mail cos it sounds to me as if we have much in common regarding past circumstances. Stay strong and keep up with the counselling. Hopefully in time you can begin to trust again and get rid of that horrible emotion which is jealousy !!! Take care for now. Link to comment
xUselessHeartx Posted August 6, 2003 Share Posted August 6, 2003 There isn't much you can do about be ing jelious. my girlfriend will look at a guy and say something like..."damn" or some crap like that. And yes...that pisses me off. I dont know why she does it, and i really want her to stop because it makes me more depressed than anything in this freaking world! but what you have to do is DO IT TO HIM. Check out guys when you are with him, and when he says something to you, explain to him that he does it all the time and no he knows how it feels. people dont understand that jeliousy comes out of love. the only reason you get jelious is because you love him ALOT and you dont want anything to go wrong...now think...is that bad? FONK NO! keep on being jelious (as much is it may hurt) you cant really do anything about it. but you have to make him jelious so he will realize that it hurts. I hope this helped atleast a lil bit. adios! -Bryan Link to comment
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