what's the best way to ask

[venus777]

so someone is supposed to be having a relationship with all the sex but no commitment? or do i just cut the sex out? it doesn't make any sense to me.

[tmp0620]

"I wouldnt say that men are dense we just prefer to be spoken to in blunt simple terms. Not some "beat around the bush, I am afraid to offend, scare etc. you"'

 

definitely agree with that. That stuff drives me NUTS. And you're right it's not that we don't get it... but rather that we EXPECT people to be straight forward, because... why wouldn't they be?

[tmp0620]

Venus just ask him straight out if you're exlusive or not.

[miracle29]

Most people these days who are dating are having sex. Sadly it means more to MOST women then it does to MOST men.

 

 

And to answer the question about independent women...

 

I'd say that if a women was really independent, she wouldnt worry about it so early. Maybe later, but not at only five weeks. But if you simply can't let it go, and have to ask, make it short and sweet and don't force the issue.

[venus777]

well, i sent him an email last night saying we shouldn't have sex anymore, cause i can't do that outside of a relationship, that i value his friendship and that's a priority to me.

so, yeah, i didn't really follow any advice in the end. personally, i can't stand the idea of having sex with a man thinking he might be having sex with other women. that's just not my style.

[miracle29]

I'm proud of you for sticking to your guns.

For future notice...make sure you investigate a bit more before you give yourself to any man. Make sure he shows signs of wanting a commitment so that you wont have to guess. Good luck with this.

[venus777]

well, he just said "o.k." to not having sex. and that was it, i mean that is so cold. so he's out of the question. never talking to him again. i deleted him from my friends list, all my comments on his page, gone.

[miracle29]

Now do you see why I tell you , Don't put your heart on your sleeve? Do you see what I'm saying, how cold SOME men are when they know you care?

 

 

Men claim they want a girl who is direct and upfront...but those are the same men who run at the first sign that she is falling for them. Those same men who claim "i don't like games I like women who are blunt" settle with women who are completely opposite of this request. Truth is MOST men don't know what the hell they want or what they have until its too late.

 

He's a real piss ant if you ask me. A real man would have wondered why, and if he cared even a little bit about more then getting his rocks off he would have been trying to figure out why you all of a sudden cut off his milk supply. But Nooooo, he just showed you his true colors. I think him wanting to commit is out of the question. He got what he wanted and as the other poster said...why buy the milk when you have the cow at home. Women need to wait as long as they can before letting any man get inside their temple. Because if you don't then sadly you'll be feeling rejected and hurt just like what happened to you. And sadly whats happened to me in the past and many many many women before you and I promise, will happen to many many many more women after you.

 

Be glad you let him go now...instead of getting in too deep. In the future again I'll tell you to stay away from the intimacy until he shows signs of wanting more then just a one night stand...or a five week one.

Sorry he turned out to be a dud.

[tylercdurden2004]

um.. really he just wanted sex in the first place. Wasnt interested in anything else. Thats why he left. thats teh importance of not sleeping with a man right away and being blunt. You flushed the snake outta the grass, but only after you went walking through it. Next time be more up front and dont think that by having sex with a man he is somehow gonna wanna commit. You cant play at sex to get love.

[venus777]

honestly, i don't think it was all about sex. i really don't, in the past i have experienced that, but in this case, we slept together without sex and when we had sex the last couple of times, i had initiated it, i think he was hesitant because i'd expressed feelings of not wanting to be used, so he left it in my court. honestly, i just think he is not in the space or frame of mind to be pursuing a relationship, though i sort of suspect that there is someone else involved, perhaps more recently, though it could just be that he doesn't really have the energy or frame of mind to really be mature and connect with someone. that's what i think is the real deal right there.

[venus777]

thanks miracle... you are right about him being a dud, i don't think it just has to do with sex, but yes it has a part in the whole thing.

[venus777]

i actually copied part of your posting miracle and sent it to him. actually most of it. it was just so good. maybe he'll learn something from it.

[venus777]

and i didn't think having sex was gonna bring love. i just like sex. and love. both. and i thought he showed good potential for love, but yeah, i don't have the best sensors.

[StarSteel]

Venus. Cut the sex. Seriously. I don't care how much you like it. You know why? Because as soon as you have sex, you become emotionally committed to him.

 

For real, do yourself a favor and just stop having sex for a while. It IS possible. Trust me, people did it all the time back before the sexual revolution in the 60's.