5 years of online contact, finally meet again.....

[faeriechyld]

Ok, about 5 years ago I worked at a christian camp as a store girl for a summer. The very last week I was there, I met a great guy. We liked each other, but since we only had a week, we didn't really pursue it, but we kept in contact. Sometimes for a few months, we'd lose touch, only to gain it back once we were through whatever was going on in our lives that made us lose contact.

Well, this weekend my boyfriend and I went to the beach for a weekend getaway, and this friend of mine lives in Delaware, about an hour and a half away from the beach we were vacationing at. So we make plans to meet up. I was just going to drive up there for a weekend, but my boyfriend was insecure about the whole thing, so I figured it best if they met first so my boyfriend would see no feelings were there and that this was an ok guy.

The problem is, my friend is no longer an ok guy. I figured there was only so much you could tell about a person on the net, and this was definitely true in this case. My friend has had some problems as of late as he and his now ex have a child together and they are fighting for custody. It's a big problem for him, and I think it has colored his view of women. The entire day we spent with him, he spoke very degradingly towards women, (discluding me, supposedly) and even treated me disrespectfully sometimes. My boyfriend is big into respect for all people, and especially me since I'm his girlfriend. He was not impressed at all by my friend, and, to be perfectly honest, neither was I.

I'm under no pressure from my boyfriend to discontinue this friendship. But my own personal feelings are that, maybe I should. He's not the person I knew, or even thought I knew. I know people change over time, and 5 years is a long time, but I guess I just wasn't prepared. It's hard to think of letting a 5 years friendship go, but I seriously am disgusted with a lot of his actions. What should I do?

[secret_agent_man]

My instinct says that he's just going through the same thing a lot of men go through. It's just a disgust towards all women because he's been burnt. It probably won't last for long, he'll get over it.

 

BUT, if he disrespects and offends you, why put up with it. He's lashing out, and you don't need to take that from him, you didn't do anything to him.

 

Maybe just disconnect from him for a while, and let him cool off...

 

 

S.A.M.