SCARED I MIGHT GET TO DEPERSSED AND GIVE UP

[csh21]

I AM 21 WITH 2 KIDS ..... I HAVE HAD A ROUGH LIFE......TRIED SUICIDE WHEN I WAS 13 ...HAD MY SON AT 15.....FATHER AND I STAYED TOGETHER .UP INTIL NOV...02 DURING THAT TIME ....I HAD MY DAUGHTER.....HE IS ALOT OLDER THAN ME .......THEN I STATED GETTING OLD REALIZING ....I MADE A FEW MISTAKES .....AND HE WAS NOT THE GUY I WANTED TO BE WITH......I DINDT FINISH SCHOOL......WANTED TO GO BACK BUT I AM AFRAID OF FAILING.......SEEMS TO BE WHAT I AM GOOD AT SOMETIMES.......I JUST MET A GUY ABOUT SIX MONTHS AGO I REALLY LIKE HIM ...... THING IS I AM SCARED CAUSE I KNOW HOW HURT I MA STILL OVER THING THAT happened WHEN I WAS JUST A KID AND STILL HAVE ISSUES WITH IT...BIG ONES.......I HAVE A TEMPER LIKE SOMETHING TERRIBLE...... I DONT SLEEP AT NIGHT ANYMORE CAUSE I HAVE NIGHT MARES .....I DONT WANT HIM TO KNOW CAUSE I DONT WANT HIM TO THINK I MA CRAZYYYYYYYY ...... SOMETIMES I STILL GET TO WHERE I HAVE NO WHERE TO TURN......AND WANT TO GIVE UP.....BUT I THINK ABOUT MY KIDS .....I JUST FEEL SO ALONE AND HAVE KNOW ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT SOMETHINGS......AND I HAVE TROUBLE TALKIGN TO PPL CAUSE I DONT WANT THEM TO JUDGE ME

SO PLZ GIVE ME SOME ADVISE

THANKS

[WorkingThruIt]

it sounds like you need some "You Time" I dotn mean to be rude or anything, but from what you wrote, it sounds as if you have identified, atleast partially, some of your own issues, but have you done anything to work on them? I suggest concentrating on yourself, and your children. You dont sound like you have a very hig slef esteem, (afraid of failing, good at that) and if you can not love yourself and take care of yourself, then no one else ever will either. If this new guy is meant to be, he will be, and he will be with you for you, but if he is in or out of the picture, YOU will stil be with YOU for a lot more time..

[raggamuffin]

I can relate to bad things happening in childhood, these things happen all too often. My advice for that problem is get professional help so someone can help you to move on and be a happy person. I think that if you solve or at least deal with your child hood problems that you will be a much happier person. Be honest with this new guy tell him you have a temper tell him that bad things happened to you when you were a kid, if he is nice and caring he will understand this. And when your temper does flair out he will be prepared and he will know why. Go back to school I think it is a really good and positive step in your life and your kids will thank you for it one day! Nothing bad can happen to you anymore only good. Take charge of your life to become a happy person.

[csh21]

YES I HAVE STARTED TO WORK ON THEM......ME AND MY SON ARE BOTH IN COUNCLING..... I START SCHOOL IN THE FALL ......2 YR LAW DEGREEAND I HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT FOR ME AND MY KIDS

[dreamingtree520]

hey girl. how are you? think about what your saying. You dont wanna end your life over stuff that you cant control. Think about those kids thats right their everything you got from what you say. My mother was a drug addict. she was stabbed 17 times in the chest by one of her ex husbands and walked three miles to call for help. She went to a drug rehab last year and now shes been clean for 9 months, got custidy of her kids and is building a life for herself now. All because her kids kept her going. She tried suicide to. Slit all the way down her left arm but something stopped her and pulled the knife down away from her skin so it couldnt go to deep. She believes it was her mothers spirit. Dont hurt yourself at the devils hands. God loves you and those kids love you. You keep trucking in life. And God Bless you.

[WorkingThruIt]

I sincerely hope it does work out for you and your children too! It takes work, and commitment to yourself, I have learned this through my own counseling, marital issues, my insecurities and the desire to do whats best for my children. Good luck with everything, and as long as you take careof yourself, everythign else will become a little easier....

[doggyfizzle]

stay aware, listen carefully, and yell for help if you need it. Remember failure is not the worst thing. It is the failure to not have tryed that gets us. Tell someone how you feel. Get all of those things out of your mind. People love you. You were put on this earth for a reason. And im sure the reason for that wasnt to be like the way you are. Take back control of your life. You run it, and only you. Keep confidence in yourself.